_ 40 _

This week I turn 40.

Not only 40 weeks pregnant, but also 40 years in age.

Alhamdulillah.

Actually I feel a bit immobile and restricted due to the pregnancy, but in general I am happy to say, that I feel better year by year, subhanallah.
I feel (most of the time) very comfortable with aging, not as scared about it any more like a few years before.
I feel very ok with greyer hair, age spots, more wrinkles and the signs of becoming more mature, alhamdulillah.
I feel more confident and comfortable with my self, my body, my character (strengths and weaknesses); stronger, freer, and much less dependent on other’s opinion.
It is a good feeling, subhanallah, and having so many older and wiser women friends, I know that these can become the best years of my life, up until seventy and more, inchaallah.

Thank you Mama, Oma, Doris, Ursula, Dorothee, Christine, Tante Trudel, Fadma Aissa, Mel, Khadija (the Prophet’s first wife), Audrey Hepburn, Louise Hay, Indira Ghandi, Fuesun Holder, Mother Theresa, Byron Katie, and all the other beautiful and wise woman whom I know, who inspire me or whom I met in my life.

blessed be you all – no matter what age!! 

other posts of mine on growing and getting older:  https://ittosjournal.wordpress.com/2014/02/08/the-beauty-of-age/
https://ittosjournal.wordpress.com/2010/04/28/healing/
https://ittosjournal.wordpress.com/2011/05/20/raising/

 

 

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winterdays

this winter is a real one…. every week masses of new white…. the holidays are over now, but we could’t start school because of the storm, cold and immense snowfall – streets are closed, electricity not always working and water frozen – even in the desert and other unusual places of Morocco, they have an onset of winter and cold  this year…

alhamdulillah, this is great for nature, a promise for a rich fruitful summer inchaallah
– and we pray that everybody finds some comfort, warmth and shelter these days…

personally, I am so soooo thankful that hubby is with us at home, alhamdulilllah, living through these homey days (mostly spent in the kitchen, where it is warm), providing us with wood, food and the ceritude that he is by my side when baby decides to quit my womb and to enter the winter world out here, inchaallah – actually I feel like a brooding hen, not very much moving since three weeks, persistently waiting  ….

Positive Birth Thoughts

Since yesterday I retired myself into maternity leave. My body needs calm and rest now, more than ever before.
I feel the birth is close, sometimes so close that I think it will happen the same day, knowing that these urges still are Braxton-Hicks-contractions and due-date ist still a few weeks away…

I think a lot about the birth and am once again very impressed about how different each pregnancy feels, how each baby change my sensations and inner feelings in his own unique way and how it all remains so unpredictable.

I remember the other four births and especially the beauty, strenght and peace during labour with our last two children, alhamdulillah – I think those were the most powerful and blessed moments in my life:

https://ittosjournal.wordpress.com/2009/06/28/an-almost-unassisted-childbirth/  

…and I plan and prepare everything for a smoothe homebirth inchaallah. 
This requires work on my inner beliefs and hidden fears.
I visualize positive, I read Sura Meryam (Qur’an 19), eat dates and pray, but I also organize the necessary material and space (especially to keep warm during labour and after birth), I prepare clothes, diapers, a hospital bag in case of emergencies, I inform our children about details of birth and look for people I feel comfortable with, to instruct them as care-providers for the kids and when I am in labour and childbed…
and I try to put all my tust in Allah, that He will give me the strength and the chance to experience once again one of those wonderful unassisted childbirths, full of magic, bliss and joy, inchaallah.

“If you have had a positive birth and you are feeling good about it, then you will often feel completely energised and brilliant in the days after you have had your baby. – Women need to hear this message too as well as getting information about what might be unpleasant or what might go wrong.”
Milli Hill

some inspiration and support:

Laura Shanley’s “Unassisted Childbirth”-book

Ina May Gaskin’s Book “Spiritual Midwifery”

Sarah Buckley’s book: Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering

an this one from Sarah Haydock 

this book from Milli Hill 

and this from Anita Evensen 

and these stories collected by Shannon Brown

http://www.positivebirthmovement.org

http://www.lifetouchyou.com/practical-tips-for-a-fear-free-positive-labour-experience

 

growing, waiting, getting ready

soon  …  or still six or more weeks to wait ?!

I feel ready, inchaallah, and more and more tired…
I feel the phase beginning when you really get ready to be a mum to a newborn,
to give out the baby to the world, to welcome him in your live,
to allow  him to become part of the family (more than he already is now)…
but I know very well, that this phase can take quiet a while, it can “cook you until you are really soft”, almost angry, and not ready to wait any longer, but truly ready for the last painful pressing you have to do to free him and yourself…

I pray, and imagine, and prepare the last things…

and I wish myself, my family and you, dear friends and readers, a very blessed new year of 2018, full of blessings, beauty and prosperity in every way – may Allah bless us all with His bounty!

 

week 33 – nesting

33 weeks of pregnancy and winter is here now…
I feel the need to sit in front of the fire place, to keep warm, to knit (just simple plain knitting – I love the process of it even if I do nearly never finish a piece… and the kids sometimes join me)

and I slowly feel the urge to prepare home for baby, a nesting instinct that comes with the approach of the birth…
wishing you all a warm home, hearth and heart!

 

Simply Breakfast and a Recipe

My favorite breakfast these days:
homemade paneer (made of fresh cow milk) sautéd in olive oil with a bit of salt and curry,
half of a green apple seared, with cinnamon and a fresh tomato from the garden… yumm!

The recipe was inspired by this wonderful book of Sarah Wilson.
If you, as well,do not want to use feta or store-bought paneer,  you can find an online recipe for the paneer here: http://indianhealthyrecipes.com/how-to-make-paneer-cubes-at-home  

Barak Allahu feek for all the lovely comments on my last post!
I really appreciate your encouragements and words, al khair, inchaallah.