Simply Breakfast and a Recipe

My favorite breakfast these days:
homemade paneer (made of fresh cow milk) sautéd in olive oil with a bit of salt and curry,
half of a green apple seared, with cinnamon and a fresh tomato from the garden… yumm!

The recipe was inspired by this wonderful book of Sarah Wilson.
If you, as well,do not want to use feta or store-bought paneer,  you can find an online recipe for the paneer here:  

Barak Allahu feek for all the lovely comments on my last post!
I really appreciate your encouragements and words, al khair, inchaallah.



other circumstances

It was the one thing I was just not prepared for, at all.
It was what we had planned and expected the least. Never.
We have been very happy and really busy enough with four kids and our growing school project, alhamdulillah.
I was happy to gain back more and more freedom, now that they were all growing older. After nearly fourteen years of being pregnant, breastfeeding, diaper-changing and caring for very small children, even the smallest one shows, with his four years of age now, already large amounts of independence.
So I enjoyed myself so much in just having sometimes a few hours alone, in being able to travel a few days without children, in engaging in bigger projects outside the home, in being myself, thinking about myself and being just with myself.


And then this:
menses already ten days over, a tearing belly, knowing that this might not be just an early menopause-symptom,… and the result of the test: positive!!!!
Pregnant with the fifth child!

Oh—my–God. It just cannot be possible, mashaallah. It cannot!

A whole world of dreams and plans broke over me. I felt weak, and old, and imprisoned, and forced into something I just was not ready for.
Astaghfirullah. Lord, forgive me, make it easy for me…
It was horrible, I immediately began to feel very sick, uncomfortable, tired, miserable, with no joy in anything and ready to vomit every moment.
Scenarios of having a big pregnancy belly, giving birth and holding a baby came to my mind like horror and it just felt so strange, so far away, and so not at all me any more, I thought I was over all of this.

Towards the outside world I didn’t’ show these thoughts.
I hid it, the pregnancy and my awkward feelings. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. I maybe looked like I’ve got it all together, but inside, I felt like standing ankle deep in crap.
I first had to make peace with it myself.
I had to learn how to find the magic and wonder in this mess, in becoming a small-baby-mother, again. I had to gain back faith and confidence and trust.
I had to learn to surrender in Allah’s will, to be thankful.
I had to learn to accept and to let go, to drop myself and to give up my selfishness, my wish to control and my ego-claims.
I had to accept that I cannot just close our family-door and all the blessings and prosperity we live in, if God wishes us to take this task and to care for another child. I had and I still have to accept this duty.

It took time. These whole summer vacations I spent pondering, meditating and working on this.

I slowly feel better now. I still have some nausea, but I begin to accept the situation and even begin to feel something like joy, honor, gratitude, pride and excitement with it, alhamdulillah.
I begin to accept this mission that was imposed upon me.
I look forward to a house full of children, to a small one who needs us all and who will have his place among our wonderful-crazy family-tribe, inchaallah.

My faith helps me a lot – I just know that everything happens for our highest good.
I find inspiration and encouragement in blogs from moms who have more than seven or ten children, in movies like “cheaper by the dozen” and especially in the belief that destiny (God’s way) is always perfect for us.
And I find joy in the joy of our kids who are eager to welcome the new family-member.

So many wonderful women do and did it, nearly all my neighbors have more than four kids – yes I can, as well, inchaallah.
I still have nearly six months to grow into it, and time will help.

When life gives you lemons – make lemonade!
– Up into this new adventure, into this new learning opportunity, into the joy of being a family of seven!
I mean, honestly, having a full handful of children, being “mom of five”, sounds not so bad at all…



Natural Choices as a Parent

wochenbett bett
baby moon – in bed with baby after birth

As a parent there are many choices to make and a lot of different opinions turn around each one. Today I want to share some of the choices we made since we had our first child nearly ten years ago; choices that proved to be good ones and to which we still stick to, now even with the fourth one, alhamdulillah:

  1. natural homebirth without PDA or other painkillers (thanks God that I never had complications that forced me to go to hospital, alhamdulillah)
  2. fully embracing baby moon and staying in bed after birth- at least for a week or two (Wochenbett).
    This I consider such an important part on the journey of being a new mom; this is the “vacation” you need after pregnancy and birth to become ready for all the challenges as a new mother; this I consider as so important to give your body the time to recover and to fall in love with the newborn. The hormonal ups and downs and the defining of your new role now is already difficult enough, so it is important to rest, to have time to sleep and quiet to think, to be pampered by others in these first days and to have someone who takes care of you, of the household tasks and especially of the older children. I am very thankful, that I had always the luck to be accompanied by very caring people, subhanallah.
  3. breastfeeding baby: at least 6 month fully (the best vaccination ever) and then slowly beginning to feed food but continuing with breast milk up to two years, inchallah, such as it is ordered by Allah even in the holy Qur’an.
  4. cloth diapering instead of plastic (I use many different styles, here is some good information for beginners)
  5. natural fibres, eco fabrics and healthy products for baby. I think it is very important, especially in the first months, to keep baby warm with materials that are healthy and feel good (wool, silk, cotton) and to keep away artificial fragrances (often used in baby products but also mom’s perfume, strong shampoo etc). This time we even made our own chamomile-calendula oil to clean baby’s bud, alhamdulillah.
  6. co-sleeping and sharing the family-bed (attachment parenting in general)
  7. carrying and wearing baby in a sling (now, after more than 16 weeks, I am wearing baby also on my back)

What choices did you make and why?

baby tragen draussen baby wickeln nov
kräter öl angiessen krÄuter ÖL
Self-made baby cleaner with olive oil and chamomile/calendula wochenbett essen
Treats during babymoon 

P.S.: Happy 1435 after Hijrah to all my sisters out there! Salam aleikoum.

Ramadan with a Newborn


Salam aleikoum and peace be upon you.

Happy Ramadan moubarak to all out there!
Half of this holy month is already over and I am still on baby-vacation, neither fasting nor praying due to breastfeeding baby and the forty-days-after-birth-time (Nafás).

The sacred atmosphere of this beautiful month is not really reaching me at the moment, mashaallah, because it is true: if you do not fast you cannot really feel the beauty of Ramadan.
It slightly helps me to make Tasbeeh (praising Allah) and Dua` (invocation), to remember Allah, to read prophetic stories and to prepare and participate at the Iftar (meal to break the fast) with other family members who do fast – all of this makes me feel at least a bit the spiritual vibes of Ramadan and increases my Iman (faith), inchaallah,
but most of the time I am still in a baby-blur, trying to adjust to my new role as a mother of four, dealing with hormonal and mood-changes, with after-birth-issues, trying to slowly find a new routine and getting back to normal work and duties, inchaallah.

I am very thankful for the help of my parents and girl-friends who so gently support me in managing the daily-craziness of a big family, alhamdulillah.
Until soon so, – May Allah bless this month for you as a time full of spirituality, love and peace. May He accept your fast, increase your Iman and shower the whole world with His mercy. Xxx



baby heaven

baby itto
baby itto3 Kopie

Alhamdulillah, our sweet little baby boy was born at home right after solstice and full moon, on a beautiful summer afternoon, subhanallah.
We are in baby heaven now and I am out of space and time, totally living in another sphere at the moment, trying to savour this blessed no-time as long as possible…
salam aleikoum dear readers and friends and thank you for all your prayers.


Summer Solstice and Patience

summer dusche summer eismach
summer erbsenpulen

Some random pictures of our last year’s various summer activities. 
Today is summer solstice, the longest day of the year, subhanallah.
I am still pregnant, awaiting baby and thinking with every contraction that this could be a good day to give birth, inchallah- yes, maybe I am a little impatient…

the holidays are here now, alhamdulillah, there’s not much I have to do and not much I really want to do at the moment – and it feels like blurry times, in between something really important.

Wishing you a nice beginning of summer with an easy living and a happy mind!



sw39 me w39 blumen w39 stone

The weather got very warm now and the air smells like summer, the nature is in full bloom, the sacred month of Shaâban is here (last month before Ramadan) and we are heading this weekend  into three months (!!!) of holidays, inchallah.

Now, alhamdulillah, that most of the important work is done, that things are prepared and time is nearly due, I feel able to centre myself. Baby feels already like a member of our family and has already his place in our hearts, alhamdulillah, being talked and touched to through the skin of my belly. And day by day there is more and more excitement about meeting  and caring for him, inchallah, but also many questions arising:
When will baby come, tomorrow or in three weeks ? Am I ready to free this little being to the worlds? How will the birth be? What surprises does this hidden secret inside of me hold for us? How will baby look like? How will he be and how will he change our life ?

Allah alone knows the answers and only He knows what will happen, how things will turn out.
I try to relax and to fully trust in His quadr‘ (divine destiny).

And I wish you a blessed month of Shaâban, a lovely early summer, good preparations for Ramadan and jumuah moubarak! Salam aleikoum friends.

(do you see the little spots on my dress? Sorry for that, but I really do not see the front and below my belly anymore and sometimes things just drop in an uncontrolled way on and under this big womb, mashaallah).