Mothering and spiritual growth

I am willing to change. I am ready to re-educate myself –

as a mother of five children, subhanallah, with such big age differences, from eleven months to fifteen years old, I have to be very flexible in my thinking and acting.
Sometimes I sit there, eyes and mouth wide open, asking myself how to respond to all the different needs, thinking how can it be?
there is the little one growing her first teeth, and there is the oldest one growing a beard, mashaallah. And in between, there are so many different phases of development, so many different questions, moods, areas of interest from toddler to puberty age…
some of the things are kind of repeating and well known, others are very very new to me.

Especially with the oldest one I recognize that time for educating actually is over… now it is time to trust, to have confidence, to let go.
Time to stop myself, hold me back (in fears, advices and doubts), to observe, and finally to enjoy the fruit of previous years of mothering…

As Jesper Juul so beautifully writes in his books “It is time to become a sparrings-partner, a source of feedback, trust and encouragement, someone who clarifies the rules, limits and boundaries of life without hurting or commanding.”
That’s what I am actually learning.
Sometimes this is painful, sometimes full of joy, but in any case, it is never boring and full of possibilities of growth for myself, together at the side of our eldest, alhamdulillah.
Thank you my dear son, tbarakallah!


very good book from Jesper Juul for parents of teenagers 

“My spiritual growth often comes to me in strange ways. It can be an incident with a child, a chance meeting or an accident, a dis-ease or the loss of a loved one. Something inside urges me to follow, or I am forcefully prevented from living in the same old way. It is a little different for each person. I grow spiritually when I accept responsibility for my life. This gives me the inner power to make the changes in myself that I need to make.” (according to Louise Hay)

Spiritual growth is not about changing others.
Spiritual growth happens to the person who is ready to step out of the victim role,
into forgiveness, and into a new life.

None of this happens overnight. It is an unfolding process. Loving myself opens the door, and being willing to change really helps to be a better parent too. Inchaallah.
On to new adventures!

Advertisements

a little me-moment

As I already said, life with five kids and finding and defining my new self in all the different roles between household, baby, bigger kids and a huge project to lead is a new challenge to me, mashaallah.
But I quiet like this challenge and feel (most of the time) very positive about it, alhamdulillah.
It’s all about learning to be much more flexible, accepting not being able to planify and control all, being led by the rhythm of a newborn and taking advantage of moments when baby sleeps and getting a break when also the others are well occupied…

  

I am very thankful for the baby carrier that allows me to take baby wherever I go, for outside walks, inside the home but also to work at school with her close to me (after four babies this feels now with the fifth more comfortable than the sling)
And I am very thankful for new technologies and have to admit that the older kids sit now more often in front of the TV, smartphone or computer – which allows me small bits of alone-time in the midst of it all (especially when hubby is out).
My former daily routine is all a bit mixed up at the moment and I actually begin to do in the evening what I normally did in the early morning hours: reading, blogging, emailing and enjoying some quiet time.
So I greet you this evening, out of my studio, wishing you a blessed month of Shaaban, while the kitchen is not cleaned yet, the laundry still in the machine and the kids maybe a bit too long in front of the TV-  because I neededs this little pause to reflect and send you some blessings… cheers!  may peace be with us all.

Life with five

Two month after birth.
And subhanallah, every week I feel stronger and more capable to handle a life with five children.

Everything seems so familiar with a newborn in our house, yet so very new and different. The older children all help and want to care for her which is of big help (most of the time ;)). Our life at home quickly adapted to our littlest one and now I slowly try to also find my way back to work.

I feel like her birth was a rebirth for my own self as well. I feel more vulnerable now, softer, deeper, and permeable. I feel like I have to redefine my role, my duties and my place.
Baby taught me a lot already before birth and she teaches me a lot now, about me, about my fears and blockages, about how to open for new ways, about patience and letting things go, about trust and confidence.

She is a gift, and I am very very thankful that God trusted us with her in our lives, alhamdulillah – astaghfirullah, in summer I was so down because of the pregnancy, and now we feel so blessed with her, Allahu akbar!
Gods ways are often inscrutable but always perfect.

 

puerperium ˌpjuːəˈpɛrɪəm,ˌpjuːəˈpiːrɪəm

(Def.: the period of about six weeks after childbirth during which the mother’s reproductive organs return to their original non-pregnant condition. ) 

 

 

recovering well, alhamdulillah, with milk-producing and nourishing food, bone broth and fenugreek, dates, oat meal, warm milk with honey and thyme…

happy spring to you dear readers and friends!

 

 

_ 40 _

This week I turn 40.

Not only 40 weeks pregnant, but also 40 years in age.

Alhamdulillah.

Actually I feel a bit immobile and restricted due to the pregnancy, but in general I am happy to say, that I feel better year by year, subhanallah.
I feel (most of the time) very comfortable with aging, not as scared about it any more like a few years before.
I feel very ok with greyer hair, age spots, more wrinkles and the signs of becoming more mature, alhamdulillah.
I feel more confident and comfortable with my self, my body, my character (strengths and weaknesses); stronger, freer, and much less dependent on other’s opinion.
It is a good feeling, subhanallah, and having so many older and wiser women friends, I know that these can become the best years of my life, up until seventy and more, inchaallah.

Thank you Mama, Oma, Doris, Ursula, Dorothee, Christine, Tante Trudel, Fadma Aissa, Mel, Khadija (the Prophet’s first wife), Audrey Hepburn, Louise Hay, Indira Ghandi, Fuesun Holder, Mother Theresa, Byron Katie, and all the other beautiful and wise woman whom I know, who inspire me or whom I met in my life.

blessed be you all – no matter what age!! 

other posts of mine on growing and getting older:  https://ittosjournal.wordpress.com/2014/02/08/the-beauty-of-age/
https://ittosjournal.wordpress.com/2010/04/28/healing/
https://ittosjournal.wordpress.com/2011/05/20/raising/

 

 

winterdays

this winter is a real one…. every week masses of new white…. the holidays are over now, but we could’t start school because of the storm, cold and immense snowfall – streets are closed, electricity not always working and water frozen – even in the desert and other unusual places of Morocco, they have an onset of winter and cold  this year…

alhamdulillah, this is great for nature, a promise for a rich fruitful summer inchaallah
– and we pray that everybody finds some comfort, warmth and shelter these days…

personally, I am so soooo thankful that hubby is with us at home, alhamdulilllah, living through these homey days (mostly spent in the kitchen, where it is warm), providing us with wood, food and the ceritude that he is by my side when baby decides to quit my womb and to enter the winter world out here, inchaallah – actually I feel like a brooding hen, not very much moving since three weeks, persistently waiting  ….