Life with five

Two month after birth.
And subhanallah, every week I feel stronger and more capable to handle a life with five children.

Everything seems so familiar with a newborn in our house, yet so very new and different. The older children all help and want to care for her which is of big help (most of the time ;)). Our life at home quickly adapted to our littlest one and now I slowly try to also find my way back to work.

I feel like her birth was a rebirth for my own self as well. I feel more vulnerable now, softer, deeper, and permeable. I feel like I have to redefine my role, my duties and my place.
Baby taught me a lot already before birth and she teaches me a lot now, about me, about my fears and blockages, about how to open for new ways, about patience and letting things go, about trust and confidence.

She is a gift, and I am very very thankful that God trusted us with her in our lives, alhamdulillah – astaghfirullah, in summer I was so down because of the pregnancy, and now we feel so blessed with her, Allahu akbar!
Gods ways are often inscrutable but always perfect.

 

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Autumn on the doorstep…

  1. Happy about the cooler days, finally a bit of much needed rain and the smell of autumn in the air.
  2. Entering the second half of my pregnancy and noticing much more movements of baby.
  3. Struggling with too small waistbands of trousers and sewing (and online-ordering) some maternity wear.
  4. Beginning to wash winter-clothes and feeling close to make fire in the chimney.
  5. Updated the book list.
  6. Participating in politics and important world-actualities by actively voting at Avaaz.org.
  7. A heavy LOT to do in our school with the beginning of the new school-year.
  8. Allowing (sometimes even forcing) myself in this busy crazyness to take some time for me: just reading, relaxing and enjoying the moment.
  9. Enjoying autumn’s fruits: blackberries, pomegranate, plums, walnuts and apples…
  10. Wishing all Muslims a happy new year 1439 after Hijrah!

  

Dancing with life

image © Alyssa Wilcox Photography 2017 

 

“I would suggest that if you spend less time running away from problems and trying to rid yourself of them – and more time accepting problems as an inevitable, natural, even important part of life – you will soon discover that life can be more of a dance and less of a battle.”

Richard Carlson 

 

Grounding Myself

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To be honest, I don’t feel entirely well these last weeks, mashaallah.
There were many decisions to make, many challenges to take and many visitors around at school, but also in our private life
– I feel exhausted and ready for a break. I feel ready for winter to come,  ready to draw back and to hibernate, just like an animal that crawls into his cave.
I observe myself sometimes arguing with reality,  wishing for things to be different, in fact just longing for some peace and quiet…
Here I’ve put down a little list of several things I try to do when I really feel at the edge to depression and need something to tear me out of the black hole:

  1. Drinking some freshly brewed yarrow/achillea-tea
  2. Making a treasure map of pictures cut from magazines to visualize positive goals
  3. Going outside! Alone or with the children, to breath fresh air and clean the head
  4. Making Istikhara and dua’ or reading Qur’an
  5. Reading self-help books
  6. Watching feel-good-movies (although it is very difficult to find hahal-ones)
  7. Making a gratitude-list
  8. Talking to a friend who can stand my tears, just listening, without trying to “save” me
  9. Investigating my belief system and affirming and auto-suggesting all things good
  10. Reminding myself that life is always for something good; that there is a reason behind everything and a learning opportunity for my highest good to be found in all.
    Alhamdulillah!

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favorite shoes from Gudrun Sjoeden 

Starting the day positive

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Affirmations help me to take the right internal attitude every day.
I use them as a desktop-screen-saver, I write them on my chalkboard, on little pieces of paper everywhere, and some I put them around my mirror and on my office-table…

Here I share some sources of beautiful inspiration.
May you be blessed with everything good!

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I train myself to approach every day with the kind of these intentions:

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and when things are getting diffficult, I take a deep breath, I pray, I turn to God, I ask for His help
and I try to remind myself of these thoughts and this:

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joy, love and peace to you and yours!

 

Embracing the New

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September – the holidays are over, summer is almost gone.
It’s the beginning of autumn;
It’s the start of a new school year ; of new plans to make and a new rhythm to find.
Back to work;  back to my dear morning quiet time routine;  back to the everyday.

Alhamdulillah, many blessings lie behind us and beautiful things await us, inchaallah.
I am thankful for two rich and fulfilled months of vacation and am looking forward now to face new challenges, to discover new adventures, to start new projects, to meet new people and to make new development;
I try to pull force and courage from success of the past and to embrace the unknown with joy. I trust in God’s paths and learn more and more to stay calm and to distinguish between my business, the others business and God’s business.

I wish you a happy autumn and a start of many blessed new experiences!
Salam aleikoum friends!

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