Since the age of twelve or so, I am writing a private journal.
With more or less regularity, I was always writing to process my feelings, to find relief, to structure my thoughts, to express my self, to “talk” to someone without risking being belittled or laughed at…
There were times in puberty, when I wrote to an imaginative friend whom I called “Anne” (like Anne Shirley from Green Gables); there were times when I just vomited out a lot of frustration, anger, hate and fear onto the pages; and sometimes I wrote more like a travel journal, about people and places.
Since ten years now, I am also writing this blog, which is for me, as well, a sort of a journal, to share, to report and to remind myself of the beautiful things, but also the ups and downs in my life.
I am still keeping my private journals, for sure; they still help me to keep sane, to hide and to unload in difficult times.
But since a few years, the style of my journals changed more into something I would call “journal of good hope”, “little book of goodness” or “journal of light”…
Over the years, I gave up, more and more, the writing about my frustration, the blaming and lamenting over things, and I stopped keeping my thoughts attached to past negative experiences.
I began to write more like a gratitude-journal, realizing all the big and small blessings in my everyday, talking about the things I am thankful for.
I also started to write more about the way I would love to live, how to be and about the person I would like to become.
And I began to fill the pages with beautiful pictures and photos from magazines to highlight my words, like a treasure map.
Since a year now, I mostly write positive affirmations to empower myself, to get rid of fears and hindering beliefs, to eradicate limiting thought-patterns and to totally reprogram my subconscious mind.
– Very hard work, I can tell you… because there are so many old and heavy beliefs, common valid values and sayings that seem to control my thinking in ways I do not want any more.
My journal now is more something like a wish-journal of how I would like my days, my self and my life to be.
When I feel overwhelmed by a situation or feeling tired, fearful and stressed, I take my little book and write about how I would like to see the situation or the day unfolding in the most beautiful way and how I wish the nearer future to be, inchaallah.
I often now begin my mornings with a cup of coffee and with writing a detailed description (in present) about how I wish everything to happen until the evening- every meeting scheduled, every task, all the chores and duties on my list –
I imagine the whole day in the most positive ways,
I thank Allah for the most beautiful outcome of each and everything, and by doing this, I train myself in prosperity consciousness and I gain a clearer picture of what I really want and aim for… without being lost, and without losing time with useless brooding and rolling problems.
This is magical, subhanallah, it helps me now so often to solve problems without mauling my head. It helps me to calm down and to stay positive despite the many challenges ahead… it really helps to make more and more positive things happen in my life, alhamdulillah, and I see how beautifully attracting this way of journaling is subhanallah.