weekend blues salvation

Alhamdulillah, of course, some days are not as perfect as shown in the last post…
or maybe parts of a day are great and other parts just a mess… mashaallah;

this up and down-thing often happens to me on weekends, especialy when my husband is on travel
and when the rhythm and structure of the every-work-day isn’t given.
Then I have all the five kids to care for and also want myself to calm down and have a rest…
and that’s exactly the challenge… the pressure of knowing that there are only two days to relax, …
feeling sometimes stressed by the limitation of two days and lack of alone-time, astaghfirullah.

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Maybe you know these kind of days, also called weekend-blues or Sunday-depression.

After having had a very bad and sad weekend about two weeks ago, mashaallah, I decided to stablish a “save the weekend”-list,
some strategies and things to do when depression, agression or overtaxaion are getting me:

  • get out, go into nature!
  • writing a gratitude-list
  • taking pictures of beautyful things
  • cleaning out my wardrobe
  • working in the garden
  • writing in my diary
  • drinking herbal tea (especially yarrow/Schafgarbe)
  • reading Quran or self-help books
  • enjoying the sun (if there is some)
  • listening to the birds singing
  • cooking or baking with the kids
  • gettings some inspiration on Pinterest
  • dreaming and creating (e.g. a treasure map)
  • eating chocolate
  • hugging the baby / kids
  • meeting with someone
  • imroving something at home
  • accepting the sadness, indulge and cry
  • taking a shower, caring for myself
  • sleep, knowing that this too will pass…
  • after sadness comes joy
  • pray!

what strategies do you have for those days?
wishing you many perfect days! salam aleikoum and happy spring!

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Mothering and spiritual growth

I am willing to change. I am ready to re-educate myself –

as a mother of five children, subhanallah, with such big age differences, from eleven months to fifteen years old, I have to be very flexible in my thinking and acting.
Sometimes I sit there, eyes and mouth wide open, asking myself how to respond to all the different needs, thinking how can it be?
there is the little one growing her first teeth, and there is the oldest one growing a beard, mashaallah. And in between, there are so many different phases of development, so many different questions, moods, areas of interest from toddler to puberty age…
some of the things are kind of repeating and well known, others are very very new to me.

Especially with the oldest one I recognize that time for educating actually is over… now it is time to trust, to have confidence, to let go.
Time to stop myself, hold me back (in fears, advices and doubts), to observe, and finally to enjoy the fruit of previous years of mothering…

As Jesper Juul so beautifully writes in his books “It is time to become a sparrings-partner, a source of feedback, trust and encouragement, someone who clarifies the rules, limits and boundaries of life without hurting or commanding.”
That’s what I am actually learning.
Sometimes this is painful, sometimes full of joy, but in any case, it is never boring and full of possibilities of growth for myself, together at the side of our eldest, alhamdulillah.
Thank you my dear son, tbarakallah!


very good book from Jesper Juul for parents of teenagers 

“My spiritual growth often comes to me in strange ways. It can be an incident with a child, a chance meeting or an accident, a dis-ease or the loss of a loved one. Something inside urges me to follow, or I am forcefully prevented from living in the same old way. It is a little different for each person. I grow spiritually when I accept responsibility for my life. This gives me the inner power to make the changes in myself that I need to make.” (according to Louise Hay)

Spiritual growth is not about changing others.
Spiritual growth happens to the person who is ready to step out of the victim role,
into forgiveness, and into a new life.

None of this happens overnight. It is an unfolding process. Loving myself opens the door, and being willing to change really helps to be a better parent too. Inchaallah.
On to new adventures!

Be a Light

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Many things happen here in Morocco and around the world… a lot of beautiful things, but also shocking ones, mashaallah…
I feel very sorry for the things that happened not far from here about two weeks ago, and I feel with the people who suffer.
These events are really NOT moroccan, they are not mirroring the right image of this country and its hospitable people – I can tell you!
I live here since more than 15 years and really, terrorism and atrocities are not part of the Moroccan’s way of life.
They ALL love to welcome visitors, they love to chat and drink tea with people from all over the world.
I know and believe that Morocco is a safe country to travel and live in. It was and still is and will be, inchaallah.

Yes, there is cruelty in this world. This is a reality. In our personal surroundings, on regional and international level. And sometimes this fact pushes me to the edge of depression, to sadness and hopelessness, astaghfirullah.
But, subhanallah, there is also so much beauty around, so many little seeds of hope.
I see divine order in everything. I begin to understand that all and everything is for the highest good of all who are afflicted.
I try to find peace and strengh in faith and I concentrate on the positive.
I accept that I do not have to understand it all and that I cannot and I do not have to change all things.
But instead of constantly talking about negative news to each and everyone, I can choose not to add to the horror and evil, I can choose to send out only good news.

I ask myself: how can I help to better the situation with the possibilities I have? What part do I have to play in this game? What is my mission as a human being, as part of society, as a believer?
I can strenghten my belief in God’s perfect plans and share it with others. I can begin to spread out love, prayers and blessings.
Instead of blaming and lamenting I can choose to be a positive example of love and light to my family, my nighbours, colleagues…
I can visualize the good. I can dream about a healed and peaceful world.
I can send blessings of peace even to the wrong-doers, knowing that we all need love in order to show our best…
I trust in Allah’s wisdom and know that faith and positive thinking can help to better the world and turn everything for the good, inchaallah.

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Happy Winter to you. May 2019 be a year of peace and light to all.
May He shower His blessings over the worlds!! Ameen.

 

 

 

On my way…

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Quiet here means a lot going on on my mind in reality…. still and always learning so many things about life and me, alhamdulillah,
learning to use and treat more wisely the gifts Allah offered me, inside and around my self, subhanallah.
too many different and personal thoughts to type here
… but I wish you a very beautiful December… may Allah bless your ways!

لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا ۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا اكْتَسَبَتْ ۗ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذْنَا إِن نَّسِينَا أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَا إِصْرًا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِ ۖ وَاعْفُ عَنَّا وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَارْحَمْنَا ۚ أَنتَ مَوْلَانَا فَانصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ –

Quran 2:286

“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.

It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. “Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us…”

 

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Powerful future-Journaling

Since the age of twelve or so, I am writing a private journal.
With more or less regularity, I was always writing to process my feelings, to find relief, to structure my thoughts, to express my self, to “talk” to someone without risking being belittled or laughed at…

There were times in puberty, when I wrote to an imaginative friend whom I called “Anne” (like Anne Shirley from Green Gables); there were times when I just vomited out a lot of frustration, anger, hate and fear onto the pages; and sometimes I wrote more like a travel journal, about people and places.

Since ten years now, I am also writing this blog, which is for me, as well, a sort of a journal, to share, to report and to remind myself of the beautiful things, but also the ups and downs in my life.
I am still keeping my private journals, for sure; they still help me to keep sane, to hide and to unload in difficult times.

But since a few years, the style of my journals changed more into something I would call “journal of good hope”, “little book of goodness” or “journal of light”…

Over the years, I gave up, more and more, the writing about my frustration, the blaming and lamenting over things, and I stopped keeping my thoughts attached to past negative experiences.
I began to write more like a gratitude-journal, realizing all the big and small blessings in my everyday, talking about the things I am thankful for.

I also started to write more about the way I would love to live, how to be and about the person I would like to become.
And I began to fill the pages with beautiful pictures and photos from magazines to highlight my words, like a treasure map.

Since a year now, I mostly write positive affirmations to empower myself, to get rid of fears and hindering beliefs, to eradicate limiting thought-patterns and to totally reprogram my subconscious mind.
– Very hard work, I can tell you… because there are so many old and heavy beliefs, common valid values and sayings that seem to control my thinking in ways I do not want any more.
My journal now is more something like a wish-journal of how I would like my days, my self and my life to be.

When I feel overwhelmed by a situation or feeling tired, fearful and stressed, I take my little book and write about how I would like to see the situation or the day unfolding in the most beautiful way and how I wish the nearer future to be, inchaallah.

I often now begin my mornings with a cup of coffee and with writing a detailed description (in present) about how I wish everything to happen until the evening- every meeting scheduled, every task, all the chores and duties on my list –
I imagine the whole day in the most positive ways,
I thank Allah for the most beautiful outcome of each and everything, and by doing this, I train myself in prosperity consciousness and I gain a clearer picture of what I really want and aim for… without being lost, and without losing time with useless brooding and rolling problems.

This is magical, subhanallah, it helps me now so often to solve problems without mauling my head. It helps me to calm down and to stay positive despite the many challenges ahead… it really helps to make more and more positive things happen in my life, alhamdulillah, and I see how beautifully attracting this way of journaling is subhanallah.

How do you journal?
Or are you totally new to this?
Here is a nice article written by “living well mom” on another beautiful way of keeping a personal diary and on bullet journaling in general.