I have to take a little time off. After a horrible sunday, feeling weak and overburdened, lots of tears, anger, aggression and heavy shoulders under the pressure of many “have-to’s”, I decided to stay home yesterday and today, even in bed, while our “home-angel” (our wonderful nanny) looks for the kids and kitchen.
Alhamdulillah, i am very thankful to have her help, what a gift. And I am kind of proud that I allow myself a break. This is kind of freaky, I know. I have a hard time to accept when my energy is low. As a high energy person this is really something I need to learn: I cannot pour from an empty cup – I really need my cup to be filled again and again.
So I learn to be a patient patient. I learn not to feel guilty for taking a break. I learn kindness with myself. And while browsing the web, I find out how many mothers seem to feel the same… there are hundreds of other bloggers writing about this.
I wonder. And I don’t feel all alone with my thoughts alhamdulillah. So I lay here in my bed, pondering over the last weeks and life in general, half sleeping, half awaken. And sometimes I grab the book I got from a very good friend:
Wonder . From R.J. Palacio.
I seldom read fiction. But this is a beautiful touching story. Makes me cry over the human truth inside this simple text. Lets arise questions about my mothering. And opens my eyes to the beauty of family love, the important work of a headmaster and how caring both can be… wonderful.