How to do it all – or: the little black spot

Honestly, dear friends, I am very thankful that I do not have to fast this year. Allahu akbar! God knows best to whom He obliges or whom He frees from religious duties.
I am grateful that a breastfeeding woman is excluded from the duty of fasting if she feels that it would be harmful for her or her child.
And I strongly feel that if I would fast, it wouldn’t just be harmful for my own, but also for all of my children and family because I would just not have the mood and energy to manage it all.
Already the other duties, like praying, but first making proper wudu (washing before parying), are sometimes challenging to do properly and on time – yet they always help me to gain inner peace and a new freshness and clarity for the moment, alhamdulillah.
Also reading the Qur’an, which is normally a highly recommended thing to do during Ramadan, is not easy this year. I am far behind the actual hizb (daily part of pages to read to be able to finish the whole book in one month). But anyway, I read at least a few verses every day and gain new knowledge and tranquillity, subhanallah.

But what I am really learning, day by day, is to relax, to let go, to appreciate “the big white paper instead of spotting only the little black spot of dirt on it”.
– I mean I really learn to focus on all that goes well instead of concentrating on all the many many things that are dirty, go wrong or just aren’t as ideal as I normally wished – because I just cannot do it all and it would turn me crazy, insane and stressed if I’d think about all the things that could and should be done…

Looking at these beautiful flowers on my table, instead of seeing the little bits of dinner from last night under the table, gives me joy.
Going out, enjoying these beautiful mild spring days with the kids, instead of staying home folding laundry (ironing I gave up already many years ago;)), fullfills me with happiness and new energy.

Appreciating that the children love to help cooking, instead of lamenting on the chaos they sometimes produce then, helps all of us to have a table full of yummy things, alhamdulillah.

”Staying positive”, “Seeing the Good”, is something I remind myself often,
and believing in the law of “like attracts like” I try hard to talk only about and honour the good things every day

However, a certain level of cleanliness and order is essential to my wellbeing and the well functioning of a big family, but all these little details of a perfect household have to wait until later, inchaallah ;))

“God, with your guidance and strength I am capable.
I have enough time to finish all I want to accomplish today,
because I totally flow with the moment. Ameen.” 




5 thoughts on “How to do it all – or: the little black spot

  1. salaam, yes i am with you sister all the way! am facing all the same challenges, only my bunch is just a little older than yours–11, 14, 16, 19, 21. Still just as hard though IMO. I use many healing and positive vibe modalities to get me through everything, in addition to praying, fasting, and other religious duties.
    Alhamdullilah all good, but physically demanding and exhausting. guess that is the season of my life in this moment.

  2. Beautiful.So agree with you. Have a happy, joyous and peaceful rest of Ramadhan inshaAllah. 🙂

  3. The middle way.
    I think it is better to read a small passage of the Qur’an each day rather than trying to read the whole thing in a month. That seems like bingeing to me.

  4. Guten Tag Itto, danke für die ehrlichen Einblicke in einen dichten, spannenden, abwechslungsreichen Familien- und Berufsalltag in dem Frau versucht, in verschiedenen Rollen zu bestehen und Prioritäten zu setzen, im Bewusstsein, dass es nur “funktionieren” wird, wenn Frau auch zu sich selber schaut. Loslassen der Perfektion und das tun, was für Euch in der Phase gut ist. Das kann an einem Tag aufräumen und putzen sein, weil es Dir hilft, auch innerlich Ordnung zu schaffen, das kann an einem andern Tag nach draussen gehen sein und Wäsche, Wäsche sein lassen. Das kann auch die immer wieder neue Entscheidung sein, hier oder da Hilfe anzunehmen oder das Ganze von einer kreativen Seite aus zu sehen. Dies im Wissen, dass es als Mutter von 5 Kindern, manchmal als alleiniger Elternteil im Wochenalltag, mit Haushalt, Küche und Garten und einem eigenen Projekt – Projektleitung einfach nur gehen kann, wenn Frau bereit ist, mit sich zufrieden zu sein und immer wieder die weisse Fläche sieht auf dem Blatt mit dem schwarzen Punkt. Ich finde es mutig, stark, dass Du auf Deinem Blog und im Alltag dazustehst, dass Du diesen Ramadan nicht fastet. Welch Freiheit “im Kopf, in Deiner Bildung, in Deinem Ansatz zur Religion”. Dies geht leider so oft verloren oder war gar nicht da, sodass auch diesen Ramadan wieder unzählige Frauen ihre und die des Kindes – geboren oder ungeboren – gefährden.

  5. Relax, Let Go, Appreciate. I believe that this makes all the difference Itto. It’s something we ought to learn to do, it’s not always natural. But worth trying for our sake and the sake of our loved ones.

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