how to spend wisely?

home sessel home alone
signs think
It’s one of those spare moments, the children are gone out with daddy and I have a little time for myself. This happens so seldom, that I nearly feel overwhelmed, when I suddenly get a chunk of free time.

Since twelve years now, I have nearly never been alone for more than a few hours.
Remember when I had this wonderful Saturday last year? This was a gift, a very rare gift.

I recently read that the average mother gets just 17 minutes of “me-time” per day.
Yes, sometimes that’s it. I wake up every morning long before the sun, with the intend to be alone and to charge my own batteries by reading and learning, by being alone for a little hour or so. But more than often, one of four children also wakes early and the “me-time” is gone… mashaallah.
I love my kids, no need to say, and I love being a mom, alhamdulillah,
but it is here as with everything : if there is too much of it, you cannot enjoy it anymore, even if it’s something really good.
herbst relax2

So today I have a little time, until lunch, maybe an hour or two.
And I learned to keep a list of all the thing I would like to do, whenever I get a moment:
Reading, reading, reading, manicuring, turning a shower into a beauty session, sewing, journaling, gardening, rearranging and redecorating, walking, yoga, daydreaming, photography, watching a film (of my choice), talking to a friend, crafting, knitting, being in nature,…
I could also get on cleaning, sleeping, cooking, mending, laundry, working on my to-do-list, and so on…
But sometimes I just feel lost. Like now.
Knowing that I might have an hour alone, makes me feel stressed inside. The question of how to spend that time the most wise, unsettles me.
There are so many things I would like to do, many other things that should be done, and in the midst, there is me, feeling overwhelmed by that unexpected moment of freedom.


So today, I made myself a big hot chocolate and went on blogging.
An hour is gone, I’ve put my thoughts on paper, I got some inspiration online, soon the children will be back, inchaallah,  and I don’t know when I will get the next moment of “me-time”.
Did I spent it wisely? How do I feel now?

I am thankful for this life, for this family, subhanallah, I am thankful for having meaningful work and duties, fulfilling responsibilities, time filled and no boredom.
But sometimes, too much of something good , makes it bad, mashaallah.
To better balance it, to better share and organize the everyday, to ask for more help would maybe make things easier.
And surely time will also help, children will grow and things will change.
But sometimes I just feel lost in the moment. Like now.
Do you feel like this sometimes as well?

Wishing you a peaceful weekend, especially to all the moms out there –  If feel with you!
Love and light xxx

home office
home window

12 thoughts on “how to spend wisely?

  1. It’s hard for me to imagine this. I am alone most of the time. The loneliness is terrible at times. I don’t have children. My husband is working in another city. Eating alone is the worst.
    No one calls, no one asks about me. I would love to have all this dead time interrupted by someone who loves being with me…
    I.guess your post gives me the feeling: the human is never satisfied. Nothing is ever just right. Always we find something to be slightly unhappy about.

  2. I really appreciated this post. I get the same anxious feeling when I know I have some time free to do anything I want. . . Will I spend it wisely . . . Will I waste it away . . . Have I forgotten to do something . . . How quickly will the time go? It’s good to really contemplate the moment and appreciate it regardless of how we end up spending it.

  3. Oh Itto, you speak for many mothers! I feel the same very often…sometimes I spend my alone time worrying that I will waste it and then I get nothing done. I love reading your blog because you put into words what so many women feel but can’t say. I’m hoping that one day you will write a book. God bless you!

  4. Hold on Itto! It changes with time and then it’s sooo good! After years struggling to have a few minutes on your own, you appreciate it at 200% when they grow up and don’t need you anymore at all times. Al-hamdulillah, with 4 aged 13 to 20, I can’t stop saying how wonderful this new step in life is! I feel that the education work is done, now it’s much more accompanying them. New relationships macha-Allah.
    You’re building it day in, day out…

  5. I like your list of possibilities( not the cleaning part one). I see that you also like poppy seed heads. 🙂
    It may not seem that way now, but children grow up very fast. Although we do need the balance of some time for oneself, in a few years all will change.

  6. Danke Itto, für diesen sensiblen, verletzlichen Blogbeitrag. Manchmal bekommt Frau auf Blogs oder fb den Eindruck, alle andern würden alles mit links und erst noch mit einem Lächeln auf dem Gesicht schaffen. Ja, die “ich Zeit” ist enorm wichtig – und wenn dieser Moment immer dem Schlaf “geraubt” werden muss bzw genug oft dann doch in einen “Wir moment” übergeht, ist es manchmal einfach zuviel des Guten. Ich finde mit Weleda Duschen, die Türe abgeschlossen und die “Ohren bewusst zu”, einen guten Moment um durchzuatmen. Mit der Tasse Tee oder Kaffee an einen Ort gehen und innehalten, wo ich den Himmel sehe, den Wind spüre. Denn ja, die Liste ist lang, aber manchmal reicht es derzeit eben “nur für” solch einen Moment. Ich wünsche Dir von Herzen täglich kurze Momente für Dich und regelmässig richtig erholsame Zeiten für Dich.

  7. I too feel a bit lost when I have free time and I just got one kid!
    I am looking forward to it but when it comes I don’t know where to start, what to do. As you say Itto, we all would like to make this moment a special time for ourselves. But as we spent most of our days with people around, we need time to adjust, and when we found our balance, it’s the end of this special “me time”.
    You ended up helping us all by writing these lines. Thank you and stay well and blessed.

  8. This was a timely read, and the comments below. I have had some precious moments this week for the first time in a long time and I find it so difficult to balance the doing jobs that can get done with things that I want to do for myself but I am also getting the sense that as they grow through the ages this time increases and will I then morn the time I was with them. It’s all balance isn’t it and being mindful in the moment. I like your idea of having a list, I always forget what I wanted to do. Sometimes we think we are the only ones feeling a certain way. So lovely to feel that this overwhelming role of motherhood is actually such a shared experience. Sending you love and duaas in these peaceful moments of child free time, Tamsin x

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