It’s one of those spare moments, the children are gone out with daddy and I have a little time for myself. This happens so seldom, that I nearly feel overwhelmed, when I suddenly get a chunk of free time.
Since twelve years now, I have nearly never been alone for more than a few hours.
Remember when I had this wonderful Saturday last year? This was a gift, a very rare gift.
I recently read that the average mother gets just 17 minutes of “me-time” per day.
Yes, sometimes that’s it. I wake up every morning long before the sun, with the intend to be alone and to charge my own batteries by reading and learning, by being alone for a little hour or so. But more than often, one of four children also wakes early and the “me-time” is gone… mashaallah.
I love my kids, no need to say, and I love being a mom, alhamdulillah,
but it is here as with everything : if there is too much of it, you cannot enjoy it anymore, even if it’s something really good.
So today I have a little time, until lunch, maybe an hour or two.
And I learned to keep a list of all the thing I would like to do, whenever I get a moment:
Reading, reading, reading, manicuring, turning a shower into a beauty session, sewing, journaling, gardening, rearranging and redecorating, walking, yoga, daydreaming, photography, watching a film (of my choice), talking to a friend, crafting, knitting, being in nature,…
I could also get on cleaning, sleeping, cooking, mending, laundry, working on my to-do-list, and so on…
But sometimes I just feel lost. Like now.
Knowing that I might have an hour alone, makes me feel stressed inside. The question of how to spend that time the most wise, unsettles me.
There are so many things I would like to do, many other things that should be done, and in the midst, there is me, feeling overwhelmed by that unexpected moment of freedom.
So today, I made myself a big hot chocolate and went on blogging.
An hour is gone, I’ve put my thoughts on paper, I got some inspiration online, soon the children will be back, inchaallah, and I don’t know when I will get the next moment of “me-time”.
Did I spent it wisely? How do I feel now?
I am thankful for this life, for this family, subhanallah, I am thankful for having meaningful work and duties, fulfilling responsibilities, time filled and no boredom.
But sometimes, too much of something good , makes it bad, mashaallah.
To better balance it, to better share and organize the everyday, to ask for more help would maybe make things easier.
And surely time will also help, children will grow and things will change.
But sometimes I just feel lost in the moment. Like now.
Do you feel like this sometimes as well?
Wishing you a peaceful weekend, especially to all the moms out there – If feel with you!
Love and light xxx