Ramadan with a Newborn


Salam aleikoum and peace be upon you.

Happy Ramadan moubarak to all out there!
Half of this holy month is already over and I am still on baby-vacation, neither fasting nor praying due to breastfeeding baby and the forty-days-after-birth-time (Nafás).

The sacred atmosphere of this beautiful month is not really reaching me at the moment, mashaallah, because it is true: if you do not fast you cannot really feel the beauty of Ramadan.
It slightly helps me to make Tasbeeh (praising Allah) and Dua` (invocation), to remember Allah, to read prophetic stories and to prepare and participate at the Iftar (meal to break the fast) with other family members who do fast – all of this makes me feel at least a bit the spiritual vibes of Ramadan and increases my Iman (faith), inchaallah,
but most of the time I am still in a baby-blur, trying to adjust to my new role as a mother of four, dealing with hormonal and mood-changes, with after-birth-issues, trying to slowly find a new routine and getting back to normal work and duties, inchaallah.

I am very thankful for the help of my parents and girl-friends who so gently support me in managing the daily-craziness of a big family, alhamdulillah.
Until soon so, – May Allah bless this month for you as a time full of spirituality, love and peace. May He accept your fast, increase your Iman and shower the whole world with His mercy. Xxx




11 thoughts on “Ramadan with a Newborn

  1. Herzliche Grüße an Dich, liebe Itto – auch diese Zeit ist eine gesegnete Zeit, eingebunden ins Geheimnis des Lebens, der Schöpfung und des Schöpfers…

  2. ramadan mubarak to you too sis…Ibada comes in many shapes and forms…I’m also feeling ‘guilty’ at times for not achieving as much as I had set out to but I have a very demanding 2 year old who does not understand that mummy needs quiet time…insh’Allah you reap lots of benefits and rewards…xxxx

  3. Salaam alaikoem,

    Ramadan mubarak too, it’s nice to hear something from you. Inshallah your adaptation to your new familiy wil happen good.
    I read you breastfeed, I hope you could write some day about your experiences about breastfeeding, as I read earlier you gave your other children breastfeeding too.

    M3a salaam,

  4. Salam Itto, I am not fasting at the moment either (pregnancy), it’s the 3rd pregnancy I have had in Ramadan. I do believe however, that helping those who are fasting and uplifting the spirit of the home is just as great. May Allah bless your efforts and your family.

  5. Walaikum Asalam Itto and all(es)- I took a peek at that ramadanfastingandpregnancy link sm provided and wanted to chime in on it a bit. I full admit to not being able to read the whole thing, but did do a keyword sure and found it to be very lacking. Firstly it positions the argument that women can and should fast in “normal” circumstance while pregnant and breastfeeding, but didn’t address what is “normal.” Or I didn’t find that definition… surely the longest days of the year for fasting are not “normal”- they are literally an extreme. And while the writers and their support want to insist that anyone can do this by hydrating at night and that our health should not be effected, they are denying that pregnant and breastfeeding women are already considered to have weakened health/immunity- this is medically the norm, as well as Islamically the norm. That’s the point of the fasting waiver- we ARE NOT at our ideal health.
    It’s also interesting that while positioning fasting while preg/nursing as a norm, they present the Gambia study as if it is some sort of extreme situaion and therefor we should all be able to do it if the Gambian mothers can. Well, let’s look at “normal” in that sense- Gambia has high levels of humidity during certain times of the year which can be less likely to cause dehydration than dry climates such as the one Itto and all her pregnant/nursing neighbors live in. Also, the study looks at 14.5 hour fast, which were still shorter than what we were fasting this year. Personally I found it impossible to get 2 liters of water in at night, and that may be due to what my “normal” looks like- I am not in an extended family, which is common for many Muslims, so after Iftar I am not only taking care of myself but several small children. I have found many Muslims make a big deal out of the fasting that goes beyond the stomach- fasting from anger, harshness and whatnot, but I don’t see this site addressing that at all- again forgive me if I missed something.
    While the writers include: “This is not to say that fasting cannot and does not affect pregnant women. Fasting can produce “increased irritability and incidences of headaches with sleep deprivation and lassitude (weariness or a lack of energy).” However, there are few serious health problems that are attributable to fasting itself and none that are known to be specific to pregnant women.” They obviously do not believe that mental health problems are serious health problems. I didn’t find anything further addressing emotional health or PPD. Once again, quantity is placed before quality. In the personal accounts I have heard and collected over the years, many mothers suffer miserably during Ramadan while trying to care for themselves, their unborn and infant children, their other children, their spouses and extended family. Many are so emotionally and physically sickened by it all that they ask “Why do I bother fasting at all???”
    There is also a huge hand of privilege at play here assuming that any and everyone can pop in to see a Good Muslim doctor to have their this, that and the other levels regularly checked. That is not the case and unfortunately many people are too sick by the time they reach a doctor if at all.
    I think it’s absolutely cruel and wrong to ever pressure a pregnant or exclusively breastfeeding mother to fast. We need to get over this prevailing “Super Muslim Woman” mentality and ACCEPT the provisions Allah (SWT) has granted to us so that we can actually be the super vessels He has created us as.

  6. Thanks Brook for your reflections on that subject and having been on the website. I read some of the texts – and thought the same as you wrote in your lignes. I am not muslim – so probably i can not discuss about this subject. But i am a mother of two alhamdoulilah healthy children and they were breastfeeded babies. I have been also – longtime ago but nevertheless – a children nurse. And i have, alhamdoulilah a awake spirit and a practice way of seeing life or everyday life. And for all that I can not agree, that fasting during pregnancy or breastfeading is – like the writer on the homepage will make us think – “normal” and not really – and really not a reason not to fast. How please a breastfeeding mum can all energy and “liquide” needed for producing milk and in same time being in a good health, take at night? and when please will she sleep? and how will she take care of the other children, of the work in and out of house and pray and and and…. when already during a not fasting day and night, its not rarely a big challenge for body, soul, and the whole family.

    Honestly I find a homepage like that kind of dangerous and injust – as sooo many women are depending on the opinion and advice of somebody else, as they think that they do not know enough about the religion or they cant read – and so all of them are fasting. my niece in the third month, while working hard in house and field and having a boy and big family to take for, the niece in the 8th month, with 2 boys and a house and all fields and work doing by herself. and the ones who did probably not fast – while breastfeeding – will feel soooooo guilty by reading the link.

    i am sorry, but we got – from Allah or “whom ever” a health – and we got the responsability taking care of this body and health. And a pregnant woman or breastfeeding mum got the responsability of a part of the health of her child – and often for the life of a lot of other members in the family.

    I hope that we all found our way of living together in peace and that we can live religion in a healthy and peaceful way. And that women are not putten by advice and society to fast when its not the moment to fast.

    take care, may “Segen” mit Euch sein

  7. Thanks a lot for this inputs, this is at this time one of my topics while study midwifery!

    Dear itto and brooke, all my thoughs are with you and peaceful bouguemez the time i’m sitting here “down” in busy marrakech! And brigitte, bis glie… 😉 Take care, have a wonderful day and Idon’t know if you feel it too, autumn is comming, it smells like, more in switzerland than here, but sure you will get one too 🙂 … I love it that much! Wish you all e blessed and peaceful autumn… Nadine

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