stop-sign in Fès-city
It sometimes is through tests that Allah teaches us lessons.
It sometimes is through uncomfortable incidences that He wants to STOP us.
To hold on.
To correct us, to perfect us, to protect or direct us.
It was an uncomfortable conversation that recently reminded me to correct my own intentions. I shamefully had to realize my own shortcomings and faults.
It was like a waking up call that forced me to think about my sincerity, about my tauba’ (repentance), about my ni’a (intentions), about the weakness of my iman (faith), about the power of my poor ego (nafs), about why I acted as I acted, astaghfirullah,
and it finally forced me to think about our purpose on earth and on how dependent we are from our Creator. Mashaallah.
It was like a call that told me that everything worldly is nothing more than a mere passing, and that nothing here will help or serve me in the hereafter, except Allah’s mercy.
It showed me that I should be more humble, that I should take another direction on how I approach things in this life, that I should purify my own self.
It clearly showed me that I have to strive for more sincerity in all that I do.
It reminded me to focus more on devotion and worship towards Him.
It warned me once again not to worship my own ego, my own needs, nor others or the mainstream. Astaghfirullah (God pardon me!).
It showed me once again that all we do here in this world (dunya) is only worth it, if we do it sincerely for the sake of Allah.
All our efforts should only be made to gain His pleasure and to get His reward on the day of judgement. Ya Rabb!
Those tests hurt.
It hurts to realize that we often are weak, failing and far from perfection.
I then feel humbled and shameful, little and weak.
I see that I have to strive for so many things I sometimes neglect or forget in the hustle and bustle of the everyday life: more concentration in prayer, more sincerity in my work, less interest in human praise, in material wealth and worldy things …
But in the same time, I feel that those tests are a blessed sign from Allah, a sign that He loves us and that He cares for us. Alhamdulillah.
I feel encouraged and hopeful and full of gratitude that He is it who gives us guidance through what He decided is best for us, even if it hurts sometimes. Subhanallah.
Oh Lord, Allah, may YOU guide us all towards what is good,
may YOU give us the wisdom to act in the best manner,
may YOU make us steadfast in the deen (Your religion),
may YOU purify us and make us sincere and honourable human beings, following Your beloved prophet (sas), with the best intentions to gain only Your pleasure in this world and in the hereafter.
“Himmelstreppe” (steps towards the sky) by Hansjörg Voth, Moroccan desert