“Parenting is a path of maturation and growth if we dare to learn more and teach less” (Naomi Aldort)


Every single day I grow deeper into my role as a mother and from year to year I realize more that being a good mother means being ready to educate myself, not the child.

Islam teaches us to strive to better our character everyday with every mundane act.
I think this is especially true concerning parenting. To become a good parent I have to better my self, I have to change, to question, to develop my own personality every moment from new – I have to grow with the child.

I look with awe and wonder at my children, I see them as a beautiful gift from God, subhanallah, and I have to admit with humbleness that it is mostly me who has to learn.
I have to learn to give unconditional love and empathy.  
I need to be taught to let them be and to take them as they are.
I need to step back and to hold back my inner pressure to intervene.  
I must learn to hold back my will to teach, my will to criticize and to give advice.  
I have to learn to get rid of old patterns and schemes.
I have to work on my own preconceptions and on old behavior I stuck in.
I have to accept and to trust.  

I simply have to love, myself and the child.

There is a lot to say about all of this, and a lot to work on. But today I simply want to recommend again the very wonderful book of Naomi Aldort “Raising our children, raising ourselves” (“Von der Erziehung zur Einfühlung”) and her website which both are an  incredible source of inspiration on the path of growth as a parent.
I am thankful to be on this path. Happy Friday, friends!

“When your child presents you with a challenge, you have an opportunity to take a step toward your own self-realization, and by doing so regain your clarity about your child.” (Naomi Aldort)


8 thoughts on “Raising

  1. salam aleikoum itto,
    thanks for your post…
    j’avais justement besoin de ce genre de reflexion pour me conforter…en ce moment ma petite fille est dans une phase où elle refuse tout…j’ai de ce fait quelques soucis avec la nounou..
    merci pour l’adresse du site.
    il nous faut respecter nos enfants, cela est aussi enseigné par l’Islam..
    bonne journée

  2. salamualaikum wa rahmatullah Itto,

    this could be my list;)
    ich habe auch gerad in letzter zeit genau über eben deine worte nachgedacht. gerade das mit den mustern, in die man immer zurückfällt, ist thema für mich, ich versuche gerade mich davon zu befreien;) vielen dank auch für den buchtip, mir ist das buch nun schon öfter über den weg gelaufen…vielleicht ist es an der zeit es mir zu besorgen!

    alles liebe und salamualaikum

  3. Je dis souvent à ma fille que j’apprends chaque jour avec elle à être maman, que je ne sais pas si je suis une bonne maman mais que je j’essaie de faire de mon mieux. On ne devient pas maman le jour où nous donnons la vie, on le devient chaque jour, un peu plus… Il faut rester dans une situation d’apprentissage et d’évolution. Je pense que c’est la clé ! Même si ce n’est pas toujours facile. Merci à toi pour tes impuls. Je t’embrasse affectueusement, de mère à mère.

  4. This is a beautiful and inspiring post Itto. I am not yet a mum but this helps me in approaching the time I will become one. And for sure I know I will have to improve myself to give my children the best. As I do now to be a better wife.
    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. They are precious.

  5. This is such a beautiful and true piece. Truly inspirational. I myself believe that children should be raised consciously and in awareness, realising who the child is and not acording to the norm or what we weretaught as children.

  6. Subhanallah, I am sat here reading this in tears. You have touched me yet again and at a point in time where I am constantly questioning my skills as a mother and this is exactly what i needed to hear. Thank you x

  7. Pingback: Motherhood – Itto’s Blog Post Inspiration | Mahshi and Marshmallow

  8. Pingback: Motherhood – Itto’s Blog Post Inspiration | Mahshi and Marshmallow

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