Some days are constant ups and downs and feel like a never ending marathon … I guess parenting, yes, maybe life in general is like waves: constant ups and downs…
Aehm, these last days were a bit difficult, mashaallah, baby is so much teething and even though she’s almost all the time really happy and smiling, she does not sleep, is very demanding and wants a lot of body contact and interaction – and so are the boys – Mashaallah, sometimes it feels as if like little vampires suckle all the energy out of my body and brain. I am tired, nervous, and weak and not the mother I wished myself to be. That’s how I feel at the moment, astafirgullah.
I know that it is not only the children’s actual behaviour that makes me feel so tired and needing a break; I know that it is maybe the little PPD syndrome I am having from time to time, and also the grief from last year; I know it is also because of breastfeeding and because of the situation of living as a single mom so often due to hubby’s work, and it surely is also the self-criticism that comes into my head sometimes…
In the oh-so-rare-me-time I am having at the moment, I try to read one of the books sister Brooke gave me. It’s called “You are your child’s first teacher” from Rahima Baldwin Dancy. It is an American Waldorf classic from 1989 and it is one of those books you wished it would never end. I simply love it! I really appreciate the compassionate and non-judgmental advices.
One little part that I could read over and over again is this one: “The reason that parenting young children takes so much energy is that the life forces of the mother and the baby are interconnected throughout the first three years. Young children are surrounded by and consume […] the life energy from their parents. Mothering is deceptive, because sometimes it seems as if you’re accomplishing so little – why should you be so tired? However, caring for young children draws on your vital energy, and you need to replenish your own vital forces in order to continue to feel good in your mothering”
Subhanallah, these words just soothe me. I am really enjoying to read that book and I try to see the blessing which children are, I try to be thankful for all the good in the actual situation and I try to follow Mrs Baldwin’s advice “The first thing to do to […] is for the mother to be happy and healthy […] Three things can really help to replenish this energy: sleep, artistic activity and meditation.”
So I leave you with my personal list on how I try to fight against this awful fatigue, inchaallah:
My meditations are the five obligatory daily prayers.
In addition to that I wanna try the following to get more balanced:
– no morning coffee for a certain time, to see if it makes a difference
– eating a lot of vitamins (fruits, dates, nuts, vegetables) and less sugar
– taking mineral supplements and biochemic cell salt pills
– making constant dhikr (remembrance of God/Allah by repeating His beautiful names and attributes and by praising Him)
– photography (to praise the beauty of Allah’s creation in every thing around)
– drawing rainbow coloured pictures and calligraphy (to be creative and to meditate on the beauty of those wonderful colours and forms)
– Making constant Istighfar (asking Allah for forgiveness to get closer to Him and His mercy)
– blogging (to reflex and to focus on the good)
– getting enough sleep, going to bed earlier
– trying to better myself but also appreciating what I do and telling myself how much I love me…
I wish you a blessed weekend with time for yourself and joy with your family!