I wonder…

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These days are intense. I so enjoy the time with my two boys, the established peaceful rhythm we live, to have my dear friend here, to get some me-time, to feel the baby moving, to dream about its birth, to feel the excitement of hubby, to wait, to think, to imagine.
And sometimes I just wonder (excited but also fearing a bit) …

… about my constant changing feelings.
… about my deep need for calm, peace and stability at home.
… if the baby will be born in May (I wished so) and how it will look and be like.
… how everything will change over the next few weeks.
… how my boys will react to the new family member and redefine their roles.
… how it will change our whole family connections.
… how caring for and raising a girl will be.
… how my hormones and mood will change after birth.
… how the new responsibility of breastfeeding again and caring for three kids will change myself.
… how I will deal with having changing helpers/visitors at home and having no rhythm and privacy for a while …

I ask Allah to give me inner peace, sabr (patience) and a lot of strength.
Inchaallah, everything will go on well.
He knows the past, the present and the future and He knows what is best for us.
I lay my life in His hands and trust in His path.


4 thoughts on “I wonder…

  1. Salam alaykom… as a convert myself , this is my jihad , I believe, to turn to Allah…its not as easy as it sounds or as it should be…But yet when it’s done , you wonder how you could’ve thought it was hard?
    I really fdo Thank Allah for placing me in paths of those who inspire me and encourage me to do this…Al hamdullilah for this.

  2. I’m so glad you found my blog as I can see we have much in common! I love finding other people of faith, even when our faiths are so diverse. Your photos and recipes and such look delicious! I can’t wait to try the German pretzels as I lived there many years ago…

  3. Assalaamu alaikum,

    Insha’Allah everything will go smoothly for you sister – enjoy having a little princess among your princes. 🙂

    Have you reached full term now? I still have 4 (long weeks) left!

    May Allah make it easy for you and me, ameen. 🙂

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