These days are intense. I so enjoy the time with my two boys, the established peaceful rhythm we live, to have my dear friend here, to get some me-time, to feel the baby moving, to dream about its birth, to feel the excitement of hubby, to wait, to think, to imagine.
And sometimes I just wonder (excited but also fearing a bit) …
… about my constant changing feelings.
… about my deep need for calm, peace and stability at home.
… if the baby will be born in May (I wished so) and how it will look and be like.
… how everything will change over the next few weeks.
… how my boys will react to the new family member and redefine their roles.
… how it will change our whole family connections.
… how caring for and raising a girl will be.
… how my hormones and mood will change after birth.
… how the new responsibility of breastfeeding again and caring for three kids will change myself.
… how I will deal with having changing helpers/visitors at home and having no rhythm and privacy for a while …
I ask Allah to give me inner peace, sabr (patience) and a lot of strength.
Inchaallah, everything will go on well.
He knows the past, the present and the future and He knows what is best for us.
I lay my life in His hands and trust in His path.