The Power of Thoughts – on Birth

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select what clothes you’re gonna wear every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life …work on the mind.
That’s the only thing you should be trying to control. Drop everything else but that.
Because if you can’t learn to master your thinking, you’re in deep trouble forever.”

(from the book “Eat, pray, love” by Elizabeth Gilbert)

Mastering to control my mind and thoughts is a big issue for me these days.

Just as the baby in my womb grows and develops, also my inner thoughts are growing and developing, especially by night:
Sleeping isn’t as easy and comfortable as before and I often wake up. Then I lie in bed and observe my thoughts on wander. They switch from work at school to daily family concerns, from preparing exams to choosing baby-names.

But I much prefer the baby-names-thoughts during night and I really try now to control my mind, to calm down and to relax. I don’t want to allow project-, business- and work-related thoughts to enter our sleeping room any more, disturbing the peace of the night. I want them to stay outside.

I try then to concentrate on preparing myself for a homebirth, thinking about it just as I did four years ago.
I try to work on my inner consciousness, to empower my body again for a natural birth and I also go into communication with baby.

After three blessed homebirth experiences, and especially after the last beautiful unassisted one, alhamdulillah, I am very aware of the fact how much our whole attitude and our thought and beliefs, especially the unconscious ones, can affect the birthing process. So I am consciously working again on a positive thinking:

I know that birth is nothing to fear at all.
It is NOT a potentially dangerous happening and does NOT have to be scary and full of pain at all – because different than any other pain, the natural pain in labour might actually become even ecstatic and normally leads to an end with a very positive result.

Birth is the most natural happening and can become one of the most blessed and empowering experiences in the life of a woman, subhanallah, filling her with grace and brave and with an overwhelming love for the baby, that will blissfully accompany her during the ups and downs of the whole mothering years.

God provided us women with everything we need for birth and such as He made the human race reproduce itself instinctively since millions of years, He also made it possible for us to deliver in natural and instinctive ways: we just need to stay in contact with nature, with our own body and to listen to its actual needs.
Making sure that the birth happens in an environment we feel comfortable and safe in, accompanied by close and familiar people we like, being free to move and to act as we feel, in an atmosphere of privacy, is also a very important fact for a beautiful and successful natural birthing experience.

The existence of modern medicine and technology is surely sometimes a blessing and needed in some cases, but it should never lead us to give up contact with our body, to loose trust in nature or to give up our self-determination.

Because, in the end it is us, the women, and nobody else, who have to push out the baby and to free it towards the world. If we give up that difficult but blessed duty too easily, out of fear or other unnatural reasons, by using modern intervention, unneeded c-section or other pain-preventing medication, we also give up the chance to grow with the birthing experience, we give up the gift to feel the euphoria and we rob ourselves and the baby of the producing of important hormones for the mothering and bonding process.

Remembering all of this can already enable a woman to overcome her deepest fears, to trust in the ability of her own body and can lead to a very positive approach on childbirth, that will help her to experience it as a blessed gift, inchaallah.

That’s what I deeply wish and pray for, for you and for me, for the babies and for all of us.

To deepen your knowledge on natural birth, no matter if at home or in hospital, I highly recommend the books from Ina May Gaskin and Ingeborg Stadelmann.

Happy May and a Quote

One who wants to stay happy has to change often.

 

Salam aleikoum dear readers and friends.
Thank you so much for the lovely comments on our happy news. I was especially touched by those of you whom I “know” through blogging since years but had no contact since a long time. May Allah bless you all with a beautiful sunny may and lots of positive change.
Love to you and yours! Xxx

 

 

 

to brood over…

 

We have spring holidays, alhamdulillah, and I had the chance to travel with the children to Marrakech, enjoying some beautiful and warm days in that red pulsing city.
It is always such a treat to be there, staying with our loveliest friends, eating the most delicious food and visiting the most awesome places this city has to offer.
Mostly, when I travel to Marrakech, my visit is not only for fun, but also for work or other reasons. This time I wanted to see the doctor. Not for any health issues, but to check something I brood over since several months, something that was quiet a shock in the beginning, mashaallah, something that needs time to develop, something that needed time to sit down in my mind, something that brings a lot of new changes into our family who was challenged by some difficult troubles over the last years and months, something that asks for new adjustments in my life which is already a busy one:
there is another baby growing inside of me! Subhanallah!

 

I am very thankful that Allah made pregnancy something to carry out during 40 weeks, alhamdulillah. I really needed these months to get used to the idea of a new life growing in my womb. And still I have several weeks more until due-date, inchallah, which I need to prepare myself and everything to be ready to welcome the new family member.

 

Allah’s ways are sometimes very surprising, not foreseeable at all, often leading to things we wouldn’t have expected or planned ourselves, but they are always full of wisdom, alhamdulillah, teaching us to trust in Him alone.

 

 

 

A note on Women’s Day

Yesterday I received from different people greetings of congratulation because of the international women’s day – I have to confess that I didn’t even know that this day is now.

And our neighbour’s son just came to tell me, that they don’t have school today, because of “women’s day” – it brought a silent smile to my lips. Alhamdulillah.

You know, I am not a feminist at all and I do not see myself as a “fighter for women’s rights”. These things just do not appeal to my point of view and I really see no need to call out a single day per year “women’s day”.

It rather makes me sad to realize that still the world sees the need to do so.

I chose to become a Muslimah, alhamdulillah, because in Islam every day should be a women’s day.
In Islam women are considered as gifts from Allah and are always cherished.
If Islam would be properly lived by a society, all women would get the rights and status they deserve.
The pure teachings of Islam and the example of prophet Mohammed (sas) call to treat women with dignity, honour and fairness, yes even with equality in all spheres of life: in basic humanity; concerning religious obligations, rewards and punishments, ownership and financial transactions, regarding honour and nobility, education and social responsibilities.
And in Islam women are especially given high ranks and the best rights in terms of being a mother.

But unfortunately these aims are rarely reached and in most societies (Muslim and non-Muslim societies as well) the man-made culture, old traditions, also modern permissiveness and personal interests refuse women their natural and God given honour and rights, mashallah.

Instead of party a single day per year I would love to call out to all of us to strive together for a more friendly and respectful world towards everybody.
Not by organising sex-strikes, violent revolutions and the call of hate against men, but by living every day at our best, both sexes following God’s orders, being the most caring and loving towards each other and ourselves.

Hugs and peace and bless you, inchallah!

For 2013

I am so very thankful for so many things that happened in 2012, alhamdulillah, thankful for so many wonderful chances, lots of moments of joy, of challenges and growth, thankful for the many blessings we received and the lovely people we met, that the wish list for 2013 is comparatively little.

 

My most important wishes for all of us are love, peace, freedom, health, having always enough to eat, inner happiness, a place of comfort and retreat, connection to nature and our soul, empathy for the other, global wisdom and especially God’s guidance and mercy.

World, may you be blessed!

Salam aleikoum oua rahmatullahi oua barakatuh.

 

 

Simply Breakfast and ten of the things I’ve learnt in 2012

- that different sorts of wood burn differently long and intense, with different smoke and different heat production. I really prefer juniper, which is available around here; I love it for its lovely smell and the long and rich warmth it provides.

- taking better care of my own needs (body and soul), treating myself kindly, asking for help and not always putting myself last.

- how to set and keep boundaries in general, concerning rules, but also concerning my own and other’s needs.
I’ve especially learnt it with the children, at home and in school, where it is essential to find a balance between freedom and limits, with love and respect. (and I am still learning on this as it is a life-long process, I guess).

- being patient and letting things go and flow; knowing that Allah is the best planner.
Everything comes differently than expected, but never worse than we can bear and often with much more blessings in it than we could have imagined. Alhamdulillah.

- that compost toilets really are better in our location, when water freezes for days and ordinary water loos just awfully begin to stink, urgh.

- that the consciousness and inner attitude and expectations we have towards something can really dramatically change a situation. It really helps and opens gates if we are expecting good things to flow naturally into our lives, knowing that Allah holds enough available for everyone.
If we open ourselves to the bounties of Allah, feeling worth earning enough of everything we need and if we can accept the good without shame – might it be love, health, money or every other thing – it will come and be given to us, inchallah. Subhanallah!
(some books and affirmations of Louise L.Hay might be helpful to learn more about this). 

- many new words and modes of expression in Tamazight (the Berber language), which is one of the most difficult languages to learn, mashaallah. I am realizing that I still need to learn a lot more in order to really being able to discuss profound topics and feelings, inchaallah.

- that the work with the inner child and with one’s own past is worth it, if  some shadows of childhood still touch the present. As much as it hurts and as hard work as it takes to go through it, as healing it is in the end to discover hidden things, to face the truth, to speak honestly about it and to finally make peace with it, alhamdulillah.

- to count on quality, to buy less but really good things instead of lot and cheap.
Because over time it pays off spending some more money on something really good which stays well and beautiful for a long time, which nurtures body and soul and which provides or supports health (for example organic and natural clothes, food, utilities,…see also my new link category “conscious shopping”)

- that I learned a lot more than that, every day, subhanallah; and that fully living means constantly learning, and that I still have so much to learn, Alhamdulillah!

What about you? What did you learn and what are your goals for 2013?

a supplication

God, Master of the heavens, Master of the earth, Master of all things.
You cause the grain and the date stone to sprout. You sent down the Torah, the Gospel, and the Qur’an.
We seek Your protection against the evil of any evildoer who is in Your hand.
You are the First – there is nothing before You.
You are the Last – there is nothing after You.
You are the Manifest – there is nothing above You.
You are the Hidden – there is nothing beside You.
Relieve our debts and free us from our needs.

on Love and Hate

Salam aleikoum world,
may peace be with you!

Islam is peace

- that’s how I understand my religion despite what’s going on in the world these days.

Our dear prophet Mohammed (sas), who came as the last messenger in a long chain of truthful rightly guided men (such as Adam, Moses, Noah, Abraham, Jesus, etc.), who were all sent by God the Almighty, was an honourable man full of mercy, love and respect for all mankind.

Yes, it deeply hurts to hear about the insulting and slandering on his person, peace be on him. Yes, I hate blasphemous acts such as the new American film everybody is talking about now and which obviously seems to show a very bad and false picture of our religion.

But I cannot accept the counter-reactions of hate and violence in retaliation that are now done by some Muslims all over the world – because this is not Islam!

Do you remember the beautiful story about slandering I once quoted here?

I am sure that’s how the prophet (sas) would have reacted today – quiet, wise, with peacefulness and patience.

I am sure he (sas) would have shown as much love and mercy as possible; he (sas) would have maybe even invite his enemies to talk to them in the most beautiful manner.

That’s how we should react now: strong and wise and patient – to show Islam in the most beautiful light, to make dawah in the most beautiful ways, to trust in God’s destiny and to rely on His justice.

Who else would be able to better this world and to spread the Islamic message of love and peace if not we as Muslims, each one of us, by following our dear prophet’s (sas) example by showing how generous and tolerant he (sas) truly was?

I do not want to give in. I do not want to let the devil take on the power now, audhu billahi. I believe in the good. I believe in the power we all have by making dua’ and acting in kindness.

I pray for this.

Bless you! Incha’allah.

Ramadan – some fundamentals of faith

 
 

“Why do Muslims fast?” – you might ask.

“Why do Muslims restrain the whole day from food and drink?”

“Why do Muslims do this for one whole month?”

“And why do they seem to even like this torture??” 

 

Well, you know, we do this because we are Muslims.
And being a Muslim means to submit oneself totally under the will of God, Allah, the Almighty, who says in the noble Qur’an:
“Oh you who belief, observing the fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become pious” (2:183)
So before explaining some things about Ramadan I should maybe explain some essentials of our faith that build the basis of all our actions:

We as Muslims believe in only one God, Allah, the One Who created us, the One Who causes everything and to Who’s will we totally submit.

We absolutely believe in His wisdom, in His preordainment and we want to obey only Him to gain His pleasure.
This submission gives us the maximum of freedom possible, because we are only responsible to Him and nobody else.
We blindly trust in Him, and we also belief in all of His prophets and messengers (beginning with Adam, Abraham, Moses, Noah, Joseph, David, etc…, to Jesus and Mohammed, peace be upon them) who all brought the eternal message of monotheistic faith.
We belief in the day of resurrection and in God’s final judgment.
We belief in the reality of a hereafter with either the beautiful gardens of paradise or the horrible fires of hell, not only as parables but as a fact.
We belief in God’s angels and in His books (the torah, the psalms, the gospel, and the Qur’an).
We belief that the Holy Qur’an was the last book sent by God to humanity as a mercy, as a reminder and for guidance, because all the other scriptures were changed and falsified over time.
We belief that the Qur’an was revealed to prophet Mohammed (sas) by archangel Gabriel, and that everything written in the Qur’an is the true word of God, valid for all human beings at any time.
So, we accept everything in the Qur’an as a fact and we try to follow all the given orders, which are always based on mercy, justice, peace and the universal good for humanity.
We are absolutely sure that God’s commands lead to the best for everybody.

We belief that this present life is only a quick passage full of tests and mere play and that the only way to succeed in this reality here is by following God’s guidance.
We belief that we are only here to be tested and to worship Him.
We know that life after death will be the real and eternal life, so we strive to gain His pleasure now to deserve a place in paradise then, inchaallah.

So, this absolute and total belief makes us fear only God and it leads us to the wish to respond to all of his commands.
In fact, the wish to please only Him becomes so essential and serious to Muslims, that we put worship over everything else – so, everything worldly and even our own desires become negligible.

This total obedience makes us become aware of our collective responsibility and it gives us the strength to discipline and to sometimes even deny our own ego – because we absolutely trust that all sacrifice and abstain for God’s sake leads us to something better in the end.

So this is why we are able to restrain from food and drink even in the heat of summer (by nearly 50°C in Marrakech), alhamdulillah.
This is why we feel light and pure, refreshed and blessed even after 16 hours of fasting:
Because He makes things easy for us, if we really trust in Him, alhamdulillah.
Because there are many worldly benefits in fasting for the human being, even though God tells us that fasting is the only thing we really do just to please Him.

We can feel the benefits of Ramadan and we understand that there is always something good in His commands, even if we are not able to explain it with our limited human nature, subhanallah. And that’s why we love this Holy month of fasting!

“Verily my prayer, my sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of the worlds” (6:162) – So please, oh Allah, accept my worship and lead me on Your path.

Allahumma taqqabbil minni oua minkoum. Ameen.

03.48 a.m., right before sunrise; the last meal before 16 hours of fasting.

Acceptance

Ich bin nicht dafür.

Ich bin nicht dagegen.

Ich bin darin.

(Hugo Kükelhaus)