to brood over…

 

We have spring holidays, alhamdulillah, and I had the chance to travel with the children to Marrakech, enjoying some beautiful and warm days in that red pulsing city.
It is always such a treat to be there, staying with our loveliest friends, eating the most delicious food and visiting the most awesome places this city has to offer.
Mostly, when I travel to Marrakech, my visit is not only for fun, but also for work or other reasons. This time I wanted to see the doctor. Not for any health issues, but to check something I brood over since several months, something that was quiet a shock in the beginning, mashaallah, something that needs time to develop, something that needed time to sit down in my mind, something that brings a lot of new changes into our family who was challenged by some difficult troubles over the last years and months, something that asks for new adjustments in my life which is already a busy one:
there is another baby growing inside of me! Subhanallah!

 

I am very thankful that Allah made pregnancy something to carry out during 40 weeks, alhamdulillah. I really needed these months to get used to the idea of a new life growing in my womb. And still I have several weeks more until due-date, inchallah, which I need to prepare myself and everything to be ready to welcome the new family member.

 

Allah’s ways are sometimes very surprising, not foreseeable at all, often leading to things we wouldn’t have expected or planned ourselves, but they are always full of wisdom, alhamdulillah, teaching us to trust in Him alone.

 

 

 

an Unschooling session – Bows and Arrows

 
 
 

Subhanallah, you know, sometimes a simple film can lead to a whole lot of learning activities.

The interest our boys (and even the girl) have in knights and arms is since years like a long loving relationship.
They’ve always been interested in heroes, soldiers and chivalry. They’ve always wanted to read and know more about the middle age, the crusades and ancient battles.
Sometimes their interest moves towards other subjects such as dinosaurs, volcanoes, China, Native Americans or Harry Potter, but every now and then it shifts back to “knights”.

Just this weekend we watched another “Robin Hood” movie (the one with Kevin Costner – a really well-made piece and a wonderful film that even honours Muslims and shows how a real noble character and the love for one’s fellow man can surpass even the deepest religious and cultural boundaries). This movie, although heavy and violent in some parts but very funny and beautiful in general, was just right for our mood of the moment and led to a lot of new learning experiences.
The next morning a whole bunch of questions were asked, research done, pictures and comics drawn, things about Christian and Muslim history told and a lot of things made. Right after breakfast the boys headed out to the fields to get some willow. Our kitchen was quickly transformed into a bows and arrow factory where wood was carved, bags sewn, arrows pointed and cardboard shields and helmets cut. The children asked for a real middle-age-meal and so the lunch was taken from old pewter ware and out of wooden bowls. Then they began to organise a shooting contest and played “knights” inside and out the whole day. (No need to tell you about the mess they made and the learning experience that followed in the evening during the cleaning process, a great opportunity to teach housekeeping-skills and a good-project-finishing…)

I am always really impressed by the power and enthusiasm that brims over if the children really are into a subject, if they are free to discover and to work in an environment that encourages and nourishes many different things.

This is how my children learn and that is why I still would consider us as an “unschooling family” even that we have founded a free private primary school they attend.  In fact I think that this is the way all children would naturally learn if not stopped and reprimanded to do so.
And I think that our school is kind of an un-schooling-school because just as my children are enabled to learn at home, also the children in school are free to do so – this is mostly the way and method how we work:
taking the whole world as our classroom, leaving a lot of space and possibilities for self-guided learning, for global experiences through project-making, by making contact with the real world and by following individual interests.

Some of our pupils are still very young, they are still getting used to the freedom and possibilities we offer and they still learn to master the basic skills of being able to do things themselves. But they all mostly learn reading, writing and all the other obligatory techniques of civilisation, the mandatory subjects and many things more by just playfully training themselves in a respectful and loving atmosphere, by trying new things, by doing self-initiated projects and by following their more skilled colleagues.
We, the teaching staff, are seldom classically teaching them, we are mostly supporting, encouraging, enabling, facilitating and creating repeated situations of entire learning experiences.
And I am sure that this is the way how knowledge is really acquired and the process of life-long-learning is initiated.

 

Winter reads

 

Late autumn and winter: a time to return inside, to gather at home, to cuddle and to snuggle.

I love this time of the year, when the skies are ice-blue, the air crispy cold and when home becomes a real castle against the harshness of the season, subhanallah.

For me this is always the time to get out special books for read-aloud in front of the chimney, it is the time for hot drinks, dimmed light and candles. And it is also the time for redecorating spaces and making everything a bit more cosy and comfortable.

While reading our favourite books, I love indulging in childhood memories and to wander into my special girly land of dreams. I love to share these stories with my children and to wave such beautiful tales about our own life.

Our most beloved winter reads are mainly old classics that have snowy themes, like many of Swedish author’s Astrid Lindgren books, such as “Guck mal Madita, es schneit”, the books from Elsa Beskow, from Lena Anderson and other stories with magical drawings about heal worlds full of harmony.

In the early mornings, before working on my laptop an when having the precious chance to have some me-time, I always and still love learning more about child-education but also about how to heal with the herbs we’ve recently collected and about gardening in general. I enjoy dreaming about what to plant in spring and how to develop our farming skills, inchaallah.

My actual favourite books are:

Wolf-Dieter Storl “Der Kosmos im Garten” and “Kräuterkunde”
Rebeca Wild „Genügend gute Eltern“
Christian Signol „Marie des Brébis“ (wonderful biography of a simple shepherdess),
Lena Anderson/Christina Björk „Linnéas Jahrbuch“

What are your preferred winter-reads?

 

Into the world of Signs

Many of you have asked over the last months how our little deaf girl and we as a family are coping with her situation (thank you so much for your concern!)  - so I decided to share here some of our way since last summer.

Learning how to express joy, gratitude, fear, hunger, boredom or anger without words; finding ways of communication in silence; figuring out how to catch someone’s attention without using sound – these are the tasks we have to learn with our little girl, because even wearing now excellent hearing aids, alhamdulillah, she still is and stays a deaf person with only little perception of sound.
To realize and accept this was hurtful and hard. Mashallah.
But alhamdulillah, our daughter is not totally deaf and some sound reaches her consciousness quite well. She doesn’t live in silence and is herself not silent at all, she babbles and chatters the whole day, subhanallah, she tells things that sound like nonsense to us but mean a lot to her. She uses the tones of her voice quite well and suitable to different situations, but there are some sounds she can’t observe and some letters she doesn’t get at all. She maybe gets about a third of what is said, so for example if you would say to her “salam aleikoum” she would maybe understand something like “aam aoum”.
Especially my voice she nearly doesn’t hear. And although a mother and her child feel a lot of things naturally and are, alhamdulillah, connected in intuitive ways, we need now skills to make conversation easier and deeper between us.

I’ve read a lot of books, websites and articles over the last year and I have spoken to a many people about the deaf world, about hearing impaired, about how to live with them, about possibilities on how to make a good living for our child and on how to support her best.
There are many different opinions and some are really contradictory and very black and white.
So in the end things are totally up to us and depend on what we want and wish for our girl, what values we have and what we think would be best in our specific situation.
And because we live far away from modern achievements and the latest scientific knowledge, we are (nearly) not influenced nor manipulated by trends and fashions (that sometimes do not prove themselves or change too quickly). This provides us with a kind of freedom and independence that I really value and count as a blessing, alhamdulillah.

For us it is clear now, that we want to raise our daughter bilingual, I mean not bilingual in Berber and German, but I mean in oral language and also in sign language; so we try to sign and to talk to her in the same time.
We want to hold open both doors for her, the door to the deaf world, but also that to the hearing one, so that she can live in both worlds and choose her own way with as less boundaries as possible, inchaallah.

We do not want to decide for her something as critical as a cochlear implant until she can decide herself, and we do not want to force her into something so difficult and hard to learn for her as the communication only by hearing and talking, always depending on lip reading and the functioning of the hearing aid.
We see how much she likes signing already and how quickly and with how much joy she learns it, trying at the same time to pronounce the words.
We want to open her as much of the horizon as possible and we want to give her the ability to communicate, to express and to get in contact with others in multiple ways. We also want her to meet other deaf people to relate to, young and older ones.

Living far away in the midst of the remote Atlas Mountains, we are free in our choice but need to do some effort to realize these aims.
With no doctors around, no help for hearing impaired people, no knowledge of sign language, with neither speech trainers nor special needs therapists near, we either need to drive to Marrakech (5 hours away) for support and treatment, or we need to establish something here by ourselves.

So we decided to tackle the situation and to try to turn it into something beneficial, with Allah’s will:
Through beautiful incidences, maktoob I would say, and by the help of very nice people we got in contact with other deaf persons and people who are proficient in sign language. Some already visited us and gave us wonderful first aid on our way into signing, and the meetings with these lovely people from Belgium and the United Kingdom were a gift for our daughter and motivated us to look now for people who come for longer periods to train us in sign language, but also to be a role model for her and to help us on the long run to establish a special needs department in our little school.

Our daughter is not the only one, there are other deaf children in this valley and our wish is now to bring them together and to provide for them a nourishing environment of possibilities to learn and to grow, inchaallah.
Within the bounds of the “école vivante” we want to give those children the possibility to have access to education according to their needs but integrated in a regular school.

The way is long and we are just in the beginning. There are many things to be considered, to be organized and a lot of knowledge to be sought. But we are feeling very positive and hopeful about it, alhamdulillah.

Over the next months several volunteers will come, God willingly, to help us establishing ways of communication with our daughter and to develop a local sign language with her and a few other deaf kids from here.
In small steps we aim to create a little centre for hearing impaired people and eventually also for other children with special needs, inchallah, integrated in our school.

If you are interested in supporting or participating in this special needs project of the “école vivante”, if you know someone who would like to, or if you want to support the school, please leave a comment or get in contact through: info(at)ecolevivante.com

You can also donate online to our French circle of friends, to support us financially.

Thank you for keeping us in your dua’ !

Assalamou aleikoum oua rahmatullahi oua barakatuh.

Garden Notes

  
 
  

It’s the first year we have set a real garden in front of our house. And now, with entering autumn’s season, most of the harvest is already done. It was such a blessing to have every day: fresh basil, tomatoes, salad, fennel, potatoes, onions, carrots, peaches, mint, beetroot, dill and other things right at hand.
Where in the past sand and dust were lying on the ground, there grew this year herbs, vegetables, fruits and lovely flowers, alhamdulilah!
I do not have as much as time as I wished to care for these little fields and we are not proficient gardeners at all, we are still learning a lot. Some of the fruits didn’t grow very well and I still don’t know when it’s the best time to pick some of the things and how to get them out of the earth best…
But even though, it is a blessing to have a garden. It is such a blessing to see how something beautiful, edible and healthy grows out of grey dirt, with the help of some water, nice treatment and the mercy of Allah, subhanallah oua taala. 
During the holidays and in the free time we have now, I love to spend moments in the garden, to fill up my batteries, alone and with the children: picking out something here, or a flower there, digging in earth, smelling mother nature, working by hand and enjoying.
I am thankful for the gift of calling some piece of lands “ours”, to care for it and to enjoy what it offers.

It is a blessing to see something growing which you planted yourself, even if it is just a herbal pot on your window.

For the work with children, I recommend the garden-books of Lena Anderson and Christina Björk. They are lovely written and very nicely drawn, and simply perfect to learn more about nature and gardening/ window-gardening.

 
  
  
 

Children’s prayer mats

 

In Ramadan I always enjoy the more of time for really important things (reading Qu’ran, praying, being with the kids and in garden, and working on personal projects) and I enjoy even the time for the lesser important things (household, working down my to-do-list, etc), because until late afternoon there is no distraction by meal-making or eating during the day. The day feels much longer in a very positive way, subhanallah.
Surely, the children get their food, but I keep it simple and mostly it contains leftovers from the iftar (breaking-the-fast-meal) of the other day or eggs, pasta or salad.
So, beside organizing the new school year, this means that I sometimes do have time now to sit in front of my sewing machine again, alhamdulillah.
I love sewing! Although I am not at all proficient, I like the quick results that can be made by sewing and I enjoy teaching myself new skills. I am really thankful for the www, where great tutorials and step-by-step-guides can be found that make it even easier. 

For the Ramadan calendar of this year I’ve sewn some prayer mats for the children.
Do you remember the praying mat I once did for myself? It’s the same kind of how-to-do-it: easy done of two layers with a Ka’aba-appliqué and a string. The children ones simply are much smaller and the outer-side is even made out of a dish-towel.

Our children do not already seriously pray at the moment, but they like to join me sometimes, to imitate the movements and to play as if it were serious, even the little one; she puts then her own hijab (head cover) on and rises her hands high to do the initial “Allahu akbar” movement – I love to see it, it’s heart-melting!
I think it is important for Muslim children to have their own mat, to feel invited, to feel confident, and to learn doing accurately their prayers and most importantly: to enjoy them. And with these light and personal mats they definitely do, Alhamdulillah.

Happy Sunday and a blessed week to you!

  
 

Ramadan moubarak!

   
  

Salaam aleikoum friends,

Thank you so very much for your compassionate comments, gentle thoughts and abundant prayers to my last post which touched me deeply – ameen to all of them.
I will continue to share our silent journey with you and I am very thankful for your supportive words and some contacts I already made, alhamdulillah.

But today, as life goes on, we focus on something different: the blessed month of fasting.
Tomorrow Ramadan will begin in Morocco, inchaallah, and we still have some things to prepare: cleaning up, making a to-do –list for daily tasks and meal plan (with lots of freshs from the garden and homemade ice cream), sorting out books for this month, baking, finishing the Ramadan calendar…
(if you need more ideas on it, please look on the left side-bar under “current inspiration” or browse my “Ramadan”-category from the last years)

I wish you all a very blessed month, full of Allah’s mercy and guidance.
I wish you a sincere nia’ (intention), a growing Iman (faith) and in the end His acceptance for all of your good deeds. Ameen.
Ramadan moubarak! 1432.

The sound of Silence

 

How does water sound? What’s the singing of a bird? Is the falling of snow loud?

After more than a year of suppositions and questions, after long months of medical appointments and examinations, after putting ear tubes in and cutting adenoids out, and after several audiometric tests we know now for sure that our little girl is deaf.
She is seriously hearing impaired on both ears: one highly impaired, and one medium; her audible range is very limited to only heavy sounds.

Mashaallah. I know now what I always feared: she does not hear my voice – in fact, she never did. It takes time to realize the diagnosis with all its long term impact. All is very new to us.
I am reading and learning a lot at the moment and getting in contact with others. Alhamdulillah. We wait now that our girl gets her hearing aids, although we know that they will not make all good.
We will have to learn sign language to make communication deeper and easier for her and for us.
We will have to teach ourselves through professional speech trainers and we will have to focus on a whole new world and all its meanings: the world of silence.

I am thankful to have the chance to get information from everywhere. I am thankful for the advice from several doctors we met in Moroccoand Europe. I am thankful for the detailed diagnosis we finally got. I am thankful for the support we get from family and friends. I am thankful to see that there is very good and professional medical help in this country. And I am thankful that we have the possibilities to afford it. Alhamdulillah.

I know, Allah is the best of all planners. I know that He does not burden us with more than we could bear. And I know, He holds something better in everything we take with patience and deep faith.
Allahu akbar. I trust in Him. And I am thankful for what we have. Subhanallah.

We are ready to grow, to learn and to share this path with our little girl. She is so brave. Subhanallah. We are ready to make the best out of it, inchaallah.
And I would love to meet with others who have taken the same direction-  Happy to hear from you!

May peace be with you all!

Raising

“Parenting is a path of maturation and growth if we dare to learn more and teach less” (Naomi Aldort)

 

Every single day I grow deeper into my role as a mother and from year to year I realize more that being a good mother means being ready to educate myself, not the child.

Islam teaches us to strive to better our character everyday with every mundane act.
I think this is especially true concerning parenting. To become a good parent I have to better my self, I have to change, to question, to develop my own personality every moment from new – I have to grow with the child.

I look with awe and wonder at my children, I see them as a beautiful gift from God, subhanallah, and I have to admit with humbleness that it is mostly me who has to learn.
I have to learn to give unconditional love and empathy.  
I need to be taught to let them be and to take them as they are.
I need to step back and to hold back my inner pressure to intervene.  
I must learn to hold back my will to teach, my will to criticize and to give advice.  
I have to learn to get rid of old patterns and schemes.
I have to work on my own preconceptions and on old behavior I stuck in.
I have to accept and to trust.  

I simply have to love, myself and the child.

There is a lot to say about all of this, and a lot to work on. But today I simply want to recommend again the very wonderful book of Naomi Aldort “Raising our children, raising ourselves” (“Von der Erziehung zur Einfühlung”) and her website which both are an  incredible source of inspiration on the path of growth as a parent.
I am thankful to be on this path. Happy Friday, friends!

“When your child presents you with a challenge, you have an opportunity to take a step toward your own self-realization, and by doing so regain your clarity about your child.” (Naomi Aldort)

On Children

 

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

 

from Kahlil Gibran in “The Prophet”