some images of the village we belong to (pictures unrelated to this post)
I have to say…
I strongly believe that children are naturally born with a good character.
I believe that they are wonderful as they are and deserve the most merciful and loving company.
I do not believe that they need to be formed, manipulated and criticized to become “real human beings”.
I do not believe that a little baby for example needs to be trained to sleep alone to become an independent child; I rather think she first needs to feel the maximum of warmth, love and protection to feel safe and to establish a strong self esteem and trust in the world.
I do not believe for example that a toddler has to be forced, out of politeness, to shake hands with or to give kisses to other people. I rather think his refuse and his personal boundaries should be respected to help him establishing a healthy relationship with his true self.
I do not think that kids need to be reprimanded all the time to become good and well behaved people.
I do not think it is right to force a kid at his expenses simply to please others or to feel proud as a parent.
I do not like to command my kids all the time and to give them instructions on how to behave and on how to do things right.
I believe in their natural wish to behave well and to be part of a community.
I believe in their natural instinct and their inner-feeling of what is good for them and I do not want to interfere al the time (unless the situation is about something really dangerous or obviously wrong).
I believe in the importance of boundaries, but only in those which are natural and logical.
I believe in the importance of parents to guide, but their intentions have to be the best for their kids and not the most comfortable solutions for themselves.
I don’t think we establish strong and respectful characters by criticizing our kids and by making them do what we want them to do.
I do not want to make them behave well only for the superficial sake of other people’s praise.
I do not want to sacrifice their true feelings for the sake of my own interests.
I do not believe in the saying “kids should be seen but not heard”.
I believe that kids, until they are grown-ups, will definitely learn to say “please” and “thank you”, they will learn to greet with their right hand and to be friendly to guests, they will learn how to behave polite and being a respectful sociable human being;
they will learn to do and to be so simply by following our own good examples;
without us forcing them, without moralizing all the time, without creating an atmosphere of hierarchies and control.
And I believe kids should absolutely be supported in establishing a deep self-love, self-confidence and a true self-esteem and be fully respected as human beings, with all their needs, feelings, moods and opinions!
… Alternative-merciful-parenting is a long way, and often a hard one. I have still so much to learn, but I had to say this today.
Wonderful week to you, friends!