Parenting

  

So many things are going on in my head these days about parenting and kids that I’ve started already three (!) long posts… But none of them is finished at the moment because the topics are quite specific.
So I decided to just let out a bit of my thoughts in general today…

First I have to say, and to say it a hundred times again…: I LOVE being a 24/24h mum!! Alhamdulillah!
It is the hardest thing I ever did in my life, but also the most wonderful.
I know now that nothing else is comparable to this full-time-“job” and if someone never did it, he will not know what it is about.
I become aware of this more and more. I realize what a gift children are and what big responsibility we have for them.
Especially since this year, after the negative Au-Pair-experience and having quitted my home-office-job, I really begin to understand that it is my purpose and duty to fully be there for my kids, to be a loving, respectful facilitator-in-life for them.
I see it clearly for myself now: I have to take responsibility of their education – not the government. At least during the first years, if I want them to grow healthy, I have to care for them myself, to be an example, to be with them – not a Kindergarten-worker, not a teacher or someone else whom I do not even know.
I have to and I want to sacrifice my time for their good.

I read so many good books (Holt, Wild, Montessori, Mazlish, Steiner, Juul,…), I met so many brave, alternative, conscious, mindful and also unschooling people and I had the chance to learn and grow during the last years a lot, so I know clearer and clearer what I want for my own family:
I do not count anymore (if I ever did…) on public child care, on public school, on official curriculum, on the latest educational methods or parenting skills…

I know now that being a good parent means to be ready to question, to learn, to revise, to grow myself every day.
It means there is no magic tool for every situation; there is not a day, not even an hour, like another. It means no child is like another. It means constant changes; it needs a lot of flexibility and self-discipline, but most of all: love, respect and an open mind.
 
And it means to be ready to explore the world and my own personality together with the child. It means sometimes tears, doubts and self-criticism, it means facing some painful truth (about my own childhood), and it means readiness to change some old behaviour and to try something new.
It means a lot of work and consciousness but also a lot of joy and fun and blessings!!

I had to say this and I could go on and on. I am so full of energy and positive power to accomplish this task of my life.
I don’t want to criticize someone else’s choices about education, but I would love to share my own thoughts that have become so clear during the last years, alhamdulillah, and I want to encourage all of you to take full responsibility for your life and that of your kids, wherever your path may lead!

Strawberry Love

 
 

The strawberries are back!
subhanallah, I love their taste of sweet summer days, of a happy childhood and picnics in the green…
People do not cultivate them in our valley, so we have to get them from Marrakech and their season here is quite short.
That’s why we enjoy them now in every way: pure and plain, chopped with yoghurt, as cakes and marmalade…

Happy spring, happy strawberry time!

Our thoughts are with you…

 
  
Weekend images – from an acrylic painting session with the kids

Today our thoughts are in Germany, with my parents and the family.
It’s the funeral of my grandmother and we cannot participate.
But we pray for and accompany them in our mind.

Blessed Monday!

Ayat al Kursi

 

I forgot yesterday to add the verse I learned, so you know what I am talking about.
Here it is; and also some youtube links to listen to.

Wish you a peaceful weekend!

”In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the most Merciful.
Allah! There is no God but He,
the Living, the Self-subsisting, the Eternal.
No slumber can seize Him, nor sleep.
All things in heaven and earth are His.
Who could intercede in His presence without His permission?
He knows what appears in front of and behind His creatures.
Nor can they encompass any knowledge of Him except what He wills.
His throne (kursi) extends over the heavens and the earth,
and He feels no fatigue in guarding and preserving them,
for He is the Highest and Most Exalted.”  (2:255)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRaWrEDa8jM&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8ARFtBLza4&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuaPTzcJMYQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyNQ0Xq6HOw&feature=related

Feeling Protected

 
 

During the last weeks while I’ve been sick, staying at home and nesting around, I sometimes felt the strong need to protect myself and my family.
I cannot really put those feelings in words, but I felt the wish to have something in my hands that allows me to feel safe and secure against the bad in this world, against jealousy and envy, against the evil eye and the creatures of the unseen world.
We as Muslims believe that all of these things are reality. They exist and they are able to harm us if we do not seek refuge by Allah.

I always had the strong will to learn the most important verse of the Holy Quran, called “Ayat-al-kursi” (2:255, known as the Throne-verse), which is well known for its healing and protecting power. But I never really disciplined myself to do so (which is a shame after six years being a Muslim…).

Finally, alhamdulillah, during the last weeks I had the time and intention to memorize it in Arabic!
It wasn’t easy to get the words into my head and even though I am able to read Arabic, I first had my husband to slowly say every single word in the right pronunciation so I could write it down in German letters. And I used an Islamic CD-Rom to listen to some recitation and to memorize it by following the Sheikh.
Soon my elder son joined me and so we went through the days reciting the parts we already knew. Kids memorize so easily…

I finally got it all! Subhanallah, by the mercy of Allah, I am able now to recite the whole verse aloud. And it sounds so beautiful. The words and the poetry are so perfect. I can really feel their healing effect and the good they bring to my body.

It is said that reciting this verse and also “Sura Al Nas” (114) and “Sura Al Falaq” (113) several times in the morning and in the evening protects you from the evil, inchaallah.

With this, dear friends, I wanna remind myself and you to regularly do so.
I wish you a very blessed Friday and may God protect you and your beloved ones!

 

A real Berber Carpet

 
 
 
Pictures taken by Zarnaz and Itto

Here you can see the making of a real knotted Berber carpet.
The work women around here do during the winter months.
 
The pattern and colour-scheme are an idea of a German artist friend of mine who wants to let realise her ideas around the world: rugs made by people from different countries in different ways (for further information please contact me).

My friend Fatima was happy to participate. She made two colourful carpets for the artist and had the chance to earn some extra-money for her own now.

Subhanallah, I love how this culture-exchange works, how we can enrich each other and build bridges between different ways of life.

Happy Wednesday to you! and thanks for all the warm comments on my last post.

In Memory

 
Oma, 1924 – 2009

In Memory

of my beloved grandmother (Oma) who quietly left this world after a long suffering from severe cancer, only two months after my sister’s death.  
May you find peace in His mercy, Ameen.

”To God we belong and unto Him is our return”

Week 34

 

… still nesting around and beautifying spaces,
… thinking about and figuring out the possibility of an early unassisted childbirth in case the midwife is not here at time,
… suffering from the pain of coughing in my belly-muscles,
… feeling how my womb and baby’s head sink deeper into my pelvis,
… loving how baby boxes and pulls its feet out,
… doing some embroidery for my baby girl, inchaallah,
… sorting baby clothes and preparing my (home-) birth kit,
… walking, working and moving really slowly around,
… wondering how life with a girl will be, how the boys will change and realizing how much she already is part of our family,
… enjoying to have daddy/hubby at home for the week,

Blessed week to you, friends!

Punching the Cushion

 
 

Do you know these moments of rage and fury? Times when you feel an inner aggression, an explosive atmosphere or simply the need to let out some negative energy?

We are a very high tempered family and unfortunately some discussions or arguments lead to yelling and more, especially in times of full moon, of fatigue, of growing or teething…

I usually quit the scene then to shout out my anger into a towel, to slow down myself, to take a deep breath and to come back with a fresh relaxed mind.
But the kids surely do not have this self control at their little age. So they quickly yell, hit each other or throw toys when in anger.
And isn’t it quiet difficult even as an adult to keep this control sometimes?? Doesn’t it feel easier to simply throw something, to break things or to shout loudly around?

Yes it does, but I want to give my kids a better example, a possibility to let out their frustration in a healthy way without hurting others or damaging things.

So first we supply for Allah’s help in those difficult moments. We always ask for His pardon and His protection against the evil (Audhu billahi minna shaitan a rashiem).
In some cases that is already sufficient, but sometimes it needs more.

I decided to make a punching cushion for these moments. A pillow in which they can shout, box, bite, throw around and let out all the frustration.

We painted some blue linen a couple of months ago. I took it and embroidered the most beautiful parts (especially a space shuttle flying to the stars) and added the word “Wutkissen” (means: anger-cushion). I sewed it together and filled all with soft cotton.

Now they have their little space to calm themselves down, to learn to take responsibility and to lead their negative energy and to let out their anger in an acceptable way, inchaallah.

My peace be upon you, friends, happy Thursday!

Beautifying Spaces

 
 

the spring cleaning is going on here – I think it is affected by the cocooning-need I always feel in the end of a pregnancy. I wanna make everything ready and nice for life after birth…
And since I am still sick with a hard cough, staying at home all day, I use the time now to beautify some spaces here.
Do you know these messy corners in a home, places you close ashamed when visitors come along, rooms you wish you could forget about, where you put all the stuff in you do not have time nor space to store elsewhere?
 
My kitchen larder was one of these places, messy, dirty and in a perfect disorder: all on the floor and in several boxes. But alhamdulillah, a few weeks ago we got new shelves, so all looks much more organized. I cleaned and washed out and now the things are in order and it became a real pleasure to go in and get the food out.
 
And my office still is one of these places I need to clear out to rearrange.
But all the rest, the hallway and the rooms are really well done now, subhanallah. It feels like such a relief and it is a real pleasure to see our house in a new light, clean, with fresh flowers and new inspiration around …
 
… Ok, there are also still some windows to clean and some sewing and embroidery work to do (I wanna have some more cushions around) and some furniture I wished to add (I need a rocking chair!!),… but I am already so happy to walk through the rooms and to see all in his (new) place.
And the kids help with their artworks to put on the inspiration wire or on the walls…

Crafty, clean, creative wishes to you!

And here are some very inspirational sites: http://www.soulemama.com/soulemama/home/

http://www.flickr.com/groups/86662290@N00/

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/home-tours

http://emmas.blogg.se/

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/

https://shop.gudrunsjoeden.de/Sommerschloss–23924d.html